Weighting for change

I weighed myself today. I don't know why I did it. I hadn't even noticed that the scale was sitting there in the bathroom. Last time I weighed myself it was at K's insistence as she had just realized that she'd lost some weight and was sure that I had too. That was about a month ago. Prior to that it had been... ???? 6 months to a year? Who knows? It would have been last time I "found" the scale and wanted to see if the batteries still worked.

K is going to go back and check - but she thinks I lost a pound. I really though I'd gained a pound or two. Neither result would surprise me. Neither result will mean much to me. Because either way - it's proof that I haven't been doing enough. K's job has her moving around all day. My daily strain is walking 10 feet for a printer - and I maybe do that once a day. She was an athlete for much of her life is much more "in shape" than I am in what she's able to do at the gym even though our weight is similar. Let's just say that my fat has had more time to get comfortable. My biggest sport is bowling and even that is only done a few times a year.

I am going to have to work 2-3 times harder than K to get similar results. But at the same time, I'm going to have to accept that we'll never really have similar results. I'm not a competitive person in sports and games, but if I feel like I'm "losing" it's not hard for me to lose my motivation completely. This is going to be hard.

This blog is my motivation. I need to be aware of what I'm doing. I need to be honest with myself. And I need to be able to remember that the same person who wrote with such hope about the future is the same person who later writes about how hard things are and how the future looks dim. It's then my job to decide which road to follow.

I'm contemplating posting before and after pictures (Before I was socially fat and after Taco Bell had her way with me), height/weight stats, and possibly even pulling out the measuring tape. It may not be pretty - but if there is a chance that it can help me, or anyone else that happens to read it, it could be worth it. At the same time - that's a big band-aid to rip off and expose to the world.

In an effort to be completely full circle, I tried to find a calculator out there that would measure how much gas I would save at a more ideal weight. Don't we all know that having less weight in the car saves gas (For that and other gas saving tips...)! I didn't find a calculator, but I did find this. It brought me a bit of comfort and a bit of humor - which were both exactly what I needed.