10 down, so so many to go...

As of today I am 10 pounds less than my last "normal" weight. I am outrageously excited. I feel like I've lost 30 in terms of my motivation.

I decided to take this moment of double digit-ness to look back at some of my posts since summer. Boy I really fell off the boat. But I knew it at the time, which helps a bit. But I'm so not there anymore. Here's my current State of Me.

- Down 10 lbs. Did I already mention that? Of course I did. But it's worth mentioning again. All through eating healthy foods and upping my activity level. Who would have thought it?

- I admited to failure in keeping up the yard. I got quotes from about 5 different companies and picked a guy. It looks so much better now. I need to replace the 4 dead trees in the back, and I think I have The Girlfriend convinced to make at least 2 of them fruit producing trees. I'm quite excited about that! Think I'll wait until after the winter to get them as it was winter that killed the last ones. Maybe use a little tax rebate $ for it.

- While I still feel like I've lost control of a part of the house, The Girlfriend and I have talked and I found out she agrees with me and was similarly frustrated. WOW does that help! As we're pretty much cooking for ourselves these days, one of those issues has been resolved. As for the others, I'm going to have to take baby steps. I organized the spice cabinet a bit this weekend, which helped. I'm thinking I'll attack the pantry shortly which always makes me feel a bit more kitchen controled. Yes, I have some itty bitty baby control issues. But really - who doesn't need to feel in control of their own house? Some scream, some clean - I organize.

- I took my first Pilates class last week. Oh my. I was in SO much pain for days after. This week I'll miss it because of a church meeting, but I'm planning to do it on a regular basis.

- I went to the Farmers Market last weekend and bought 3 veggies I've never bought before (though I've eaten them) Italian zucchini, Eggplant, and Spagetti Squash. I'm looking forward to finding good recipes, making them, and to slowly opening The Girlfriend's palatte toward vegetables!

I have a new attitude on healthy. And I know that to reach my all-inclusive goals, there are certain times were I have to focus on just one to really be effective. Not that I'll ever lose sight of my more global goals, but right now I can't effectively improve in 100 different ways all at once. Picking your battles, you know? And for now, I've selected the Battle of the Bulge.

Current weight (Based on evil home scale): 222

First goal: 198 - I'll be SO dang excited to be clearly under 200!

Second goal: 180 - This will be such a major improvment. At this point I really want to celebrate where I've been and how much I will have accomplished. Losing 50 pounds is HUGE and something that before didn't even seem real. Now, I can almost taste it.

Third goal: 160 - This is my major goal. At this point I should be about a size 16-18 I think and I'll be able to celebrate a whole new set of stores to buy clothing! I was still getting quite a bit of attention at this weight level (when the weight was going up) if my memory serves correctly, so I know I'll be able to really feel confident here.

Super ultimate, not sure if I can actually do it but if I could wave a magic wand and get it my goal would be: 135 - I thought I was so fat at this weight. Now, it's my pipe dream.

One step at a time, 1 meal at a time, I'll make my goals.

My "Daily Plate" of online addiction

I've found a new website obsession. It's been 2 days of web-bliss.

So - as you know I've been all about being healthy with a renewed passion recently. (Yea, I know, I know, it was about dang time) I didn't want to go on a diet though. I kept thinking about it. Was tempted by Weight Watcher's Point system online - but I held back. First of all - why should I have to pay them each month for a concept they are really only giving me once. Next, why should I pay that much for the idea of "eat healthy, watch portion control" which is really what it is. I decided I was going to do it alone. I cut back. I ate better. I saw some results.

Then - the headaches started. Bad, bad headaches. For no good reason. The Girlfriend suggests it could be because of my eating. Turns out one of the symptoms of a too-low calorie diet is headaches. Hmph. So I'm starting to think that maybe there is some trick for this thing. Maybe I do need to pay for professional help.

And then, like a heavenly bolt of lightening, I find The Daily Plate while looking for the calorie content of a grilled chicken breast. I forget all about the chicken breast and I'm taken over by The Daily Plate.

This amazing site has a free service where you can create a profile based on age, height, weight, natural activity level - and then it will tell you how many calories you should be eating. As if that wasn't enough - look up the foods on their site and just click "I ate this" for it to be added to your daily total. It tells you through the day how many calories you "have left" before you've reached your goal.

All that sounds good - but wait - there's more! There is a daily diary to talk about how you felt each day so you can remember what was working - and what wasn't. It also tracks your activity to show how many calories were burned through your day. And why? Because if you are using more fuel, you'll need to re-fuel faster. It also tracks your weight, your measurements and a bunch of other things for your easy access from any computer!

Sound intriguing? Don't get out that check book just yet! They also have a forum section where folks can talk about what they are doing, what has or hasn't worked, interact with other users, and just generally find common ground. There are also groups set up around the site so you can quickly join a group with similar backgrounds or issues. Prior eating disorder? A group to feel your pain. Over 100 lbs to lose? Meet folks who are on the same path - and others who've done it. Doing Atkins? They've got your bread alternative!

How much would you pay for that? Let me tell you. NOTHING! Yes, that's right - Nothing! This is a completely free web site! Sure, sure - they have another option to pay just $45/year to unlock yet additional features. So far, I'm thinking the freebie is all I need. Maybe in a few months I'll need to up my motivation. But when I do - it will cost less for a whole year of this than for 4 months of online Weight Watchers!

Ok, that's all for now. I have to go reply to a forum that's calling my name. Homemade Pumpkin Lattes at just 65 calories? Yum!

Battle won, then lost, then won, then...?

The Lying Scale has woven a new web of pretty lies. So pretty, I almost fell for it. Friday morning 227. Sunday morning 226. I'd never seen a more beautiful number. The whole day I walked with an extra umph in my step. I let the deep fried BBQ chicken wings be made around me with out wanting "just one". I was calm and sure of myself.

Until Monday morning.

Monday morning I shouldn't have gotten on the scale. I know that, but well... I was there and it was there and it kinda just happened. So ya know what The Lying Scale tells me? 227. I'm shocked. I'm befuddled. I think - this can't be right. I did everything right yesterday. I step away for a moment. I think maybe it's toying with me. I decide to give it one more try.

228.

WHAT???? I'm overwhelmed by a sense of betrayal. It's LYING! I KNOW it's lying! I feel it lying to me - staring snarkily from the floor. But it hurts too much to look back. I know that i need to move on with my day. So, the rest of the morning goes as planned. Little shower. Little morning news/funny weather man time. No surprises. But as I'm going back in to get dressed, I see it staring at me from around the corner. It's trying to stare me down. Well, I'm not one to be intimidated by The Lying Scale - at least not without a fight. I approach. I mount.

226.

ACK!!!!! Which is right? Which is wrong? My hair is still a bit wet so how can I weigh less? I haven't used the restroom again or even blown my nose! How is that possible????!!!!????!!!

The Lying Scale - 1, Kristin - 0

Well played, my friend... well played.

And the light went on

I had a radical thought the other day when it came to weight loss. Maybe not radical for some, but it was like a light went off for me.

This isn't how I have to be forever.

Ok, that may not seem like much, but it was how it all began. So I've been eating healthy, tried to do more physical things including going to the gym. And for a few minutes it all felt so futile. There was this feeling that it was never going to end. Salad. Chicken. Fish. Reading labels. But then it hit me. I don't have to do this forever. Now, I don't mean being overweight as ya might think. It was all about the realization that YES, this sucks. And NO it is not fun. BUT - Dieting doesn't last forever.

Sure, we want to be healthy, we want to maintain. But it's a whole different thing to maintain where you are than to try to make your body work in reverse - burning up more than you're giving it each day. Maintaining means I need to maintain a level of good food and activity - but if I feel like not going to the gym for a month, it won't kill me. And if I feel like some chocolate pudding now and then, cool. As long as all these things are done understanding their potential for cumulative damage - thus done carefully, then no biggie. Somehow that's completely changed my attitude. Yes, eating this good all the time is no fun. But it won't last forever.

One of the hardest things for me so far have been times where I pretty much HAD to eat badly. Pizza place w/ 3 friends all wanting to share one? Fine, I had pizza. 15 minutes to get to church meeting after work - ok, I'll get drive though, but it will be the healthiest (least good tasting) thing on their menu. And I know at some point in the next few weeks because a friend is in town, we'll be hitting Lo Lo's Chicken and Waffles. Oh my, I love that place. The old me would have loved these opportunities to cheat. It would have been fun to have that excuse. The new me is just realizing that for every bad choice I make, there will be 2-3 more good choices I'll have to make to make up for it. Thus - I'll have to be doing this longer. And I don't want to be doing this forever. But - I'm willing to do what I need to do for now.

And I think, for now, I've decided to trust The Lying Scale. Because as of yesterday morning it was 228. It is all going to fall off next week? Dear heavens no. But I'm working on it. And this weekend, because part of me doesn't trust The Lying Scale, I think I'm going to do some measurements. Those suck. Because I remember what they used to be long, long ago. They won't be that good again, I understand that - but I'm going to get a hell of a lot closer than I am today!

That's right, Mama wants to buy American!

And I'm not talking about American Cheese either! (That's just my diet talking...)

I can't remember the last time I was this excited about an American Car. Well, unfortunately I can. I was really excited about the Dodge Neon, I bought one the first year it came out when no other car looked quite like it. Back when it was in the same price range as a Honda Civic but I really really really wanted to buy American so I got the Neon. While I loved the heck out of that thing, I didn't like that the price dropped 10K the next year, the nicer options were dropped and my nice car became the cheapo rental car. Ok, so obviously I still have a little grudge. I've learned the lesson to never buy a product it's first year out. And I've gotten a bit of a chip towards the American Car market.

But ALL of that could come to a crashing halt if GM actually brings their Volt to the market in the next few years!!! I may have to dump the change from my "Pennies for Prius" jar into a "Mama wants a Volt" jar.

Speaking it's praises for just a moment. This is NOT just an electric car, but it's not a hybrid either. It's better than both worlds. The engine completely runs via the electric motor AND the electric motor is powered by either electricity, gas, E85 or biodiesel. How cool is that? At first you may say, but isn't that a hybrid? But no. Ya see, from it's initial charge it can go 40 miles without needing to use any other source to draw in energy. So, say you live 15 miles from work so you have a 30 mile commute each day. And maybe you pick up the kids and grab some groceries on the way home. How much gas did you use? None. Yea, that's right, mister. None.

Plug it in when you get home and by the time the baby sitter gets there that night you and your special someone can make it a night on the town in the same car. Say you go 50 miles that night painting the town red? You've used a couple ounces of liquid energy to go a total of 90 miles that day. How much gas would that be even in a Prius? Now you see the genius of my baby the Volt.

Well, I know it's not coming out any time soon. And I know when it does the fact that it's sporty and can go 100 miles an hour will mean that it will be WAY above my price range but still... If they can make this technology work - how long before it's picked up to use in other cars? How a bout in a minivan - even if the "free" miles drop down to 20-30 because of the extra weight? That could work when taking the kids to school 3 blocks away and the soccer game down the street.

Yes GM. You got me. My ears are perked. I can't wait to see more. BUT - if you don't come to market with this puppy, I don't know if my faithful Buy American spirit will ever be the same again.

Ok, it will. But please, PLEASE bring this baby to market. Mama wants a Volt.