Why did Pete walk out?

I have a 3rd grade joke to tell you. It's not really a joke - not even close - but it was something I read in several 3rd grade appropriate joke books when I was about that age. Basically, kid asks the question, adult pretends that they don't know where the joke and humors them until they are wishing they hadn't bought them the dang joke book.

Kid: Ok, Pete and Re-Pete walk into a bar. Pete walks out. Who's still inside?
Adult: Re-Pete.
Kid: Sure. Pete and Re-Pete walk into a bar. Pete walks out. Who's still inside?
Adult: Re-Pete.
Kid: [who is now clearly laughing...] Pete and Re-Pete walk into a bar. Pete walks out. Who's still inside?
Adult: Re-Pete.

And so on it goes until that camel's back is broken or the kid screws up the joke.

That's been my week so far. I've spent more hours pulling dang weeds from that cursed lawn than I care to remember. Let's just say more than 8. I will say that it looks better, but I also know if I sat down in almost any spot in the yard, within 30 seconds I'd likely find ones that have escaped prior rounds.

Today I made trip #2 to one of the jobs so they could get my fingerprints and of course authorization to run a battery of background checks on me. I have nothing to hide - search away! Just give me the job!

I've done laundry and dishes and taken out the trash and yet it feels like nothing gets done. Yet, every night I have amazing fantasies about how the next day will be THE day where I get up promptly by 8am and by 10am I've finished several loads of laundry - including folding and putting them away so that I'm ready to attack the next task. In this fantasy I'm never tired, I never want to just get a glass of water and sit down for awhile. My back never hurts from leaning, bending, sorting and stretching. I'm never distracted by a phone call or TV show or some far lesser important task that suddenly takes my attention leaving the first task half done - if at all. It's quite the fantasy. And yet each day I think - of course tomorrow is the day. There is no reason it can't happen tomorrow. I suppose this means I'm a bit less of a self-pessimist than I thought considering I at least hoped that it could happen. Every night. And a few mornings.

Speaking of which, tonight is going pretty well. Think I can get to sleep by midnight and already have the alarm set for 7am. There's no reason tomorrow can't be the day...

Of weeds and roses

I spent 3 hours of my life today pulling weeds in my tiny postage stamp of a lawn. I didn't even cover 1/4 of the space. And for parts of the areas I did cover, I had to hit that point where I pulled as many as I could, but had to accept that some of those little tiny buggers were going to have to wait until next time so I could get the bigger ones. I hate that. I want them GONE. But if I took the time to remove every tiny millimeter sized weed that I saw beginning to sprout - by the time I finished the yard they would have started re-growing where I'd started. It's enough to make a girl question why she has a yard in the first place.

Normally taking 3 hours out of my busily frantic "find a job" work day would not be something I'd allow myself to do, but I've been given "conditional" offers from TWO companies in the last 2 days. Both just need me to pass their background checks. Since I have never pursued a life of crime, pay at least most of the bills on time, and have no seriously burnt bridges behind me in employers - I think I'm good. And while these may not be the dream job (Which would involve being payed excessive amounts of money, given a Prius as a company car - though I was never required to go anywhere so I could spend lots of time on wi-fi at a cool coffeehouse, actually working only about 4 hours a day helping the world become more green, and somehow giving me free gym membership and unlimited massages) they are jobs that will help me pay the bills. And in this economy - I figure that's just about a dream come true.

So, I'm going to try to put some of this time to good use. Little organization here. Little landscaping there. Maybe a chance to just pause smell the roses. My first little "smell the roses" mission is to take the leftovers of these crappy generic Cheerios that I just couldn't bear to eat anymore and go feed the ducks at my neighborhood park. Do the walk around the lake a few times to get the heart pumping, and then just enjoy quacking back to the ducks a bit as they fight over my stale cereal. I think that's a win-win.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed until I get those offer letters!