Today was my first day at my new job. My new full time job. I've had 3 shifts at my new part time job. Thursday will be my first day to do them both. To some folks that could sound stressful. But me, well..., I feel peaceful. Happy. Blessed.
I put up my Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. I finished putting on the lights the next night when I came home from an 8 hour day at the part time gig. Here it is Monday night and I haven't put up a single ornament, yet I get so much joy out of just seeing it all lit up in the living room when I pass it by. I've pulled the box of ornaments out of the garage and figure I'll get that done this week. It might annoy The Girlfriend a bit that it takes me so long, we have a long history of bitter battles over Christmas as I'm a Christmas adoring over-doer and she's a "Do we really need to celebrate?" kind of gal. And yet I feel like we'll be ok this year. She even helped me put the bows on the pillars outside our house and the wreath on the front door.
My last time on the scale showed movement in the wrong direction. We're still having Thanksgiving dinner leftovers every night - and likely will through the end of the week so I know that's not likely to change any time soon. And yet even this I have a sense of peace about. This is a step. This is just a part of the path. Sure, I'd hoped for a smoother one, but I'm the one who chose to stray from the original plan. I'm the one who stopped thinking about my food, thinking about every little step. I thought I just needed a break. I've learned that is just another excuse the mind creates. But, I feel like I'm almost to the spot where I'll see some light in front of it all. It's my job now to decide how badly I want to find that original path. It will be different now, but at least I'll know which way I'm headed. Not thinking about food is like not thinking about where you're going when walking in the woods. Do it for too long, and soon you'll realize that you have no idea where you are, how you got there, or how to get back. I am going to pick a direction and be aware of every step. Sure, I might take a step or two off the path to smell a particularly beautiful flower (Or small piece of chocolate cake) but I can never forget that I'm on a path and I need to step right back on it when I'm done.
When Thanksgiving leftovers are gone and I start getting a pay check again, it will be time to get out that compass and find that path.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Don't think I'm on the bottom yet...
I'm trying to bounce back up. I am. Sort of. Kinda. And it's almost sorta working.
Let me explain.
The Girlfriend told me this week that she is now at her heaviest. She's not happy about it one bit. She's been saying for awhile that she wants to be healthier again, do more active things etc but we end up doing the same thing we do every night - eating bad food while we sit around and watch tv. I haven't been able to break of of my "I don't have a job" funk to really jump-start the good behavior the way I know I should. Also, our house is still filled with the "this is cheap" foods like rice, pasta, breads, Top Ramen, bologna, ground beef and of course left over Halloween candy. (Even though my job starts in a few weeks, it will still be a month before I see a paycheck so cheap eats it will continue to be for a bit more...)
Two days ago I found her looking through Craigslist ads for a treadmill. She felt that if she bought a treadmill and put it in one of our back bedrooms she would use it all the time and the act of buying it would be the catalyst she needed for change. I tried to convince her that a) If we DID buy one it should go in the living room which is where we are honestly more likely to be instead of back in a bedroom to be forgotten on days when you just aren't motivated and b) If she was motivated to work out we had everything she needed to get started already at the house. After a long discussion about it - we went for a walk around the neighborhood.
I can't tell you how many times we've talked about doing this, and I could count how many times we've done it on one hand. With my thumb strapped down. And with fingers to spare.
A nice 25 minute brisk walk felt AWESOME! I was really hoping for a good follow up.
Then last night when she was about to look for another show on TV I said - "Hey, why don't we use the Wii Fit?" She jumped right into it.
Now true, that may have been after a dinner of BBQ chicken sandwiches - but it was just one small sandwich each. Not long ago at all it would have been a 2 sandwich dinner. I figure I may not be where we want to be, but I can at least try to keep a handle on portion size.
I'm about to get on the Wii Fit now. Going to try to get in 30 minutes before our Date Night out of Pizza and a Movie. She has said she'll get in her time when we come back. I'm really hopeful that she does.
If we can actually keep going with a minimum of 30 minutes of activity a day through the weekend I will be really impressed.
I may not have hit the bottom, but that 205 on the scale today looked pretty dang scary. The Girlfriend told me she's at 230. She thinks she's hit the bottom. I know I'm not there - but I am close enough to remember what it looked like. And it did not look nice.
Time to go have some quality time staring at the tv pretending to hula hoop...
Let me explain.
The Girlfriend told me this week that she is now at her heaviest. She's not happy about it one bit. She's been saying for awhile that she wants to be healthier again, do more active things etc but we end up doing the same thing we do every night - eating bad food while we sit around and watch tv. I haven't been able to break of of my "I don't have a job" funk to really jump-start the good behavior the way I know I should. Also, our house is still filled with the "this is cheap" foods like rice, pasta, breads, Top Ramen, bologna, ground beef and of course left over Halloween candy. (Even though my job starts in a few weeks, it will still be a month before I see a paycheck so cheap eats it will continue to be for a bit more...)
Two days ago I found her looking through Craigslist ads for a treadmill. She felt that if she bought a treadmill and put it in one of our back bedrooms she would use it all the time and the act of buying it would be the catalyst she needed for change. I tried to convince her that a) If we DID buy one it should go in the living room which is where we are honestly more likely to be instead of back in a bedroom to be forgotten on days when you just aren't motivated and b) If she was motivated to work out we had everything she needed to get started already at the house. After a long discussion about it - we went for a walk around the neighborhood.
I can't tell you how many times we've talked about doing this, and I could count how many times we've done it on one hand. With my thumb strapped down. And with fingers to spare.
A nice 25 minute brisk walk felt AWESOME! I was really hoping for a good follow up.
Then last night when she was about to look for another show on TV I said - "Hey, why don't we use the Wii Fit?" She jumped right into it.
Now true, that may have been after a dinner of BBQ chicken sandwiches - but it was just one small sandwich each. Not long ago at all it would have been a 2 sandwich dinner. I figure I may not be where we want to be, but I can at least try to keep a handle on portion size.
I'm about to get on the Wii Fit now. Going to try to get in 30 minutes before our Date Night out of Pizza and a Movie. She has said she'll get in her time when we come back. I'm really hopeful that she does.
If we can actually keep going with a minimum of 30 minutes of activity a day through the weekend I will be really impressed.
I may not have hit the bottom, but that 205 on the scale today looked pretty dang scary. The Girlfriend told me she's at 230. She thinks she's hit the bottom. I know I'm not there - but I am close enough to remember what it looked like. And it did not look nice.
Time to go have some quality time staring at the tv pretending to hula hoop...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tummy full of hope
I feel like crap.
Wait. Better yet, I feel like fat crap. Blech.
I've been over the 200 mark for about a month now. Very not happy about it, but honestly not doing too much about it. I've been keeping semi-active doing stuff around the house, but with the exception of one good Wii Fit session, I haven't been trying to work out. I also haven't been working to eat healthy. I've been working to eat cheap - and I have to say I'm doing a pretty good frickin' job of it! I haven't had a job for almost 6 months now and the pantry is still well stocked.
Gotta tell you, I know that I've heard a million times about how it's possible to eat healthy for cheap and I don't doubt that it's possible. It's just not an area where I'm really confident. But I know how to make a casserole, pasta or rice stretch out a dish. And I've been flexing the heck out of my "how to make one night's leftovers into 2 different meals" muscle. The Girlfriend has been impressed. Unfortunately Mr. Scale is less than impressed.
Well, I have a full time and part time job offer that both start next week. While this will be quite the pay cut from what I've been accustomed to, it will mean that I can slowly start phasing out the high carb, high sodium, high calorie meals we've been eating once those checks start coming in next month. And with all my work running around - including a retail position where I"ll be on my feet all the time - hopefully I'll start burning off some of this evil pudge.
My mini goal is to be back in the 190's before the end of the year. Mind you, right now that would only be about 5 lbs, but since I won't get "buy healthy food" money for another month or so, I want to make sure it's a realistic goal. Merry Christmas to me!
Wait. Better yet, I feel like fat crap. Blech.
I've been over the 200 mark for about a month now. Very not happy about it, but honestly not doing too much about it. I've been keeping semi-active doing stuff around the house, but with the exception of one good Wii Fit session, I haven't been trying to work out. I also haven't been working to eat healthy. I've been working to eat cheap - and I have to say I'm doing a pretty good frickin' job of it! I haven't had a job for almost 6 months now and the pantry is still well stocked.
Gotta tell you, I know that I've heard a million times about how it's possible to eat healthy for cheap and I don't doubt that it's possible. It's just not an area where I'm really confident. But I know how to make a casserole, pasta or rice stretch out a dish. And I've been flexing the heck out of my "how to make one night's leftovers into 2 different meals" muscle. The Girlfriend has been impressed. Unfortunately Mr. Scale is less than impressed.
Well, I have a full time and part time job offer that both start next week. While this will be quite the pay cut from what I've been accustomed to, it will mean that I can slowly start phasing out the high carb, high sodium, high calorie meals we've been eating once those checks start coming in next month. And with all my work running around - including a retail position where I"ll be on my feet all the time - hopefully I'll start burning off some of this evil pudge.
My mini goal is to be back in the 190's before the end of the year. Mind you, right now that would only be about 5 lbs, but since I won't get "buy healthy food" money for another month or so, I want to make sure it's a realistic goal. Merry Christmas to me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)