Time to say good-bye

Dear Mr. Evil Scale,

You and I have been through some serious ups and downs in this last year. You gave me hope and encouragement. You also gave me dire warnings about straying from the path. You also seriously screwed with my head.

You have come with me from house to house over the years - never given the love you craved as I pushed you into the corner of the bathroom where my cat would often walk over you after getting out of her popper and trail kitty litter from her paws across your face. For that, I am truly sorry.

This is very difficult to me, as you know I don't like change unless it comes in the shape of a lower number, but I think it is time for us to part ways.

You see, over the last week I've gone up and down up to 4 lbs from one day to the next. I know there were several unexpected food choices that led to me going astray here and there but 4lbs in a day?

I'm sorry. This isn't about blame.

It's not you. It's me.

You've given me all you can. From oh so many years ago when I picked you up from a Target at the end of the aisle because I was just curious and figured I should know where I was. When I would not get on you for more than 6 months at a time I'm sure you thought I'd abandoned you. And then this last year to get on you at least once every single day - I'm sure you felt comparatively abused.

I need more than you have to give. Years ago I didn't want for anything more than your digital numbers. It was all I needed. But now my needs have changed. I want decimal points. I want water weight. I want fat percentages. It's me who's changed - not you.

Yes. It's true. You have been replaced. I haven't gotten the nerve to tell you to your face so your replacement is still boxed in the living room. I don't want to cause a scene.

Know that I couldn't have made it through this last year without you. I've appreciated everything you've done - including the tough love. It has helped put me back on track many, many times.

While our relationship will end, I am hopeful you will go on for a long and fruitful life. I'm giving you opportunities at a garage sale to find your new special someone, and if that isn't fruitful, I'll make sure you get placed in a nice goodwill location so your next love can be some skinny thing that loves you from day one.

I'm sorry it didn't work out between us, but I continue to wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Thank you.