She's got a ticket to ride

...and she don't care.

The ticket was for the roller coaster of life, with it's ups and downs, twists, turns and loop-de-loops. I got the ticket. I am riding the train. Sure parts are exciting, but it doesn't take long before she just don't care. She'd like to care, but she's just too dang tired!

You have to pick your battles. I've always said I live by that. Sometimes they battles change from day to day or even hour to hour. Since accepting the new job my goal is keeping the job. They know I'm overworked. They say help is on the way. The Girlfriend is starting to refer to me as her Roomie as she doesn't see me enough to be anything beyond that. She calls the office "My other house". At work there is only work. There is no personal email so I get no daily Ideal Bites. No mental breaks surfing for things on etsy or researching awesome charities like ___ to use as gifts this holiday season. No, there is practically no personal Internet access. And even if there was, heavens knows there isn't the time. The last few days I've started my first call at 6:30am and I'm not leaving the office to come home until 10pm.

I could be frustrated. I could get angry. I could cry (if I was that kind of girl). I could do many emotional things. But I don't. I just don't have the time.

I also don't have the time to track my calories, make fresh food for dinner each night, go shopping for healthy food, and I certainly don't have time to go to the gym or even walk around the neighborhood. I've also found myself slacking off on even the simplest of things. I'm burning though plastic flatware at work because I don't have time to wash and re-use. And hard as this is to admit, I have had a few days where I'm too tired to clean a container that needs to be recycled, so it goes in the garbage.

Guess who's gone back to eating out/picking up/driving through far too often? Far, far too often. I have complained how healthy food costs so much, but I have to say going out to eat this often is more expensive that I'd remembered.

I gained weight again - going back to the higher 190's. But I caught and corrected myself. I make sure my lunch (and often dinner) options, while frozen, are healthier. I try to keep a few pieces of fruit at my desk at all times. I upgraded to a larger water cup so there will be less times without water. I'm bringing the number back down, but I won't make my goal of being a size lower by the end of the year. But I MIGHT still be able to make my goal of being in the 180's. 189 totally counts.

I'm exhausted every day, but I haven't forgotten the joy of seeing a lower number on the scale. And I haven't given up on making a dent in my ecological footprint. I've just had to pick my battles. Right now my battle is making everyone NOT see quite how exhausted I am as I move from day to day. And drinking more water. That's about it. And that - is good enough.