It all comes out in the end

Not having a job sucks.

Sure, it would be nice to not have a job because I'd recently won the lottery or found out that a mysterious rich uncle left me everything in his will or in some other ridiculous and miraculous way I became independently wealthy. Because of course that would be awesome. But no, this whole none of the income (except the $240/wk from unemployment which is close to nothing, and yet greatly appreciated) all of the bills and twice the guilt thing really sucks.

I'd been putting off a big shopping trip for some time as I was hoping to hear back on a job I interviewed for and a "maybe" contract gig. I figured if I got one of those it would be back to healthy foods and I might even splurge on a few extra organic veggies. Instead I was given a no on the job and a "it's all a waiting game" response from the folks in charge of the hopeful contract gig. So it became cheap food. Now I know that theoretically one can be healthy and be reasonably cheap, but since most of my meals are cooking for two, and ONE of us must have meat with every meal, wont eat eggs, beans or too many veggies it becomes a bit more difficult.

While there were many losses (A great price + Coupon on both frozen pizzas and taquitos) there were a few unexpected wins. My favorite was the toilet paper.

The reason the Toilet paper became the biggest win is because we're on roll #4, and I haven't gotten a complaint yet. And it's recycled. Last time I bought a 4 pack of a particular brand (cough...Nature's brand...cough), I was promptly told to never bring that sorry excuse for toilet paper back into the house. She was a Charmin girl and wanted to stay that way. Let me be honest - this new stuff is NO Charmin. There is a difference by a fair amount. But it's really not too bad. It's like I bought the cheap stuff vs. a name brand. But when using it one doesn't immediately know "hey, this is a green product, right?" which is a good thing. It's also good for keeping my household happy as I didn't just buy a 4 pack, I bought a 24 pack at Costco - quite the gamble.

It's called Earth First Bath Tissue. 100% recycled, 80% Post consumer and whitened without chlorine according to the package. And another cool thing about the package, it says that the plastic wrap holding it all together is "environmentally responsible" because it says "This plastic wrap has a predetermined life span and will expire in 18 months after manufactured date." And the cherry on top of this green TP sundae - it was the same price as the Costco brand (Kirkland) tissue paper so it also made it a good price!

I'm still without job. I'm still trying to straddle healthy and convenient. But I have found my new, greener, toilet paper. A happier, healthier step.

Super Salty

Forgive me blog for I have sinned. It has been far too long since my last confession.

I have been eating cheap instead of healthy. I have been eating low-stress/comfort foods instead of thinking about my food choices. I have been going back to NOT thinking about what I'm eating when it is more important than ever to think about what I eat.

Yesterday I had a good bowl of cereal to start the day, but lunch was a BBQ beef sandwich, potato salad and macaroni and cheese at some cheap BBQ spot, then we went to the movies and had popcorn and icees. Then dinner became Taco Bell, my drive through comfort food of choice, where I ordered poorly and ate it all. Worst of it all, in that whole day I had one bottle of water. One. I tried to correct it once we got home and had a 2 glasses of water - but it was too little too late. I felt the salt rising to the surface as I went to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling that if someone were to lick my arm they could taste the salt just seeping out.

It's before 9am and I'm working on my second glass of water. That was so gross, and I can't let it happen again. I got on the scale and I was at the 200 mark. Blech! I am going to work to flush some of those pounds, hoping that several of them are salt, in the next few days. I know that I can't eat with the same "I don't care what it costs, I have to eat healthy" mantra I had before, but I do need to ensure I'm making the best possible choices when I am able to choose.

I had lots of fun yesterday, but today I just feel gross. I need to remember that.

Bad food + No water = Super Blech.

Mental note.

Work it girl!

I'm going to a Green Networking cocktail hour today. I'm sure I'm less likely to find the job I can't live without than the appetizer I can't live without, but it's certainly worth a try! I'd love to work in a green industry, or even for a company that understands it's impact, and works to bring down their global footprint.

I'm going for the socialization and the appetizers, but more than ever I think I'm actually going to Network. That has always been my greatest weakness. Market your product? Sure! Market myself? Eeek!

But today I have to put it on out there. I might even put on the tinted lip gloss. :)

My button is stuck

It has been too long my friend. I think of you often. But while the thought means something with gifts but nothing with blogs. I'd hit that point in life where the words of my grandmother came back to me - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

I knew I wanted to post something, but decided to read through old posts for some inspiration. Some reflection of where I was, similar struggles I'd had in the past - that sort of thing. Something to help me put words on where I was right now. Suddenly - there it was. It wasn't a post - it was actually a draft. Something that somehow never got posted. This was written 10/26/8 and when I read it, I felt I could have just written it. With just one exception - I've been laid off again. So, not only am I on "Pause" as I mention below, someone just hit "stop" on my finances. (And isn't this just the perfect time to go looking for a job?) Still, the words below are quite timely...

I think somehow, somewhere someone hit the pause button on my life. Of course, life doesn't actually pause. That would be too easy. And we would notice much faster. But I've been noticing it this week and need to figure out how to get it "un-stuck".

My social life is on pause. I feel like I plan on so many things, but then do so little of it.

My weight is on pause. I suppose I should be happy its not on rewind. And it's nice that I have clothes that fit for these dang business trips - but still, I'd rather be losing weight.

My green-ing of my life has been put on pause in a bad way. Tons of flights, bottled water because you can't take a refillable bottle to the airport and gas driving to and from work each day - almost an hour each direction.

I work, I come home, Watch some TV, work some more, go to sleep, repeat.

I think I'm canceling my gym membership because we haven't gone in months. Well, I went once right before I got this job and I really hoped to make that a habit. But that was the only time either of us have gone in 5 months or so. Wasted cash. Then again, if we cancel I'll feel like I'm giving up on one of my goals. Its tough. That one I've put on pause. Easier to avoid than to have to make a decision.

I need to find my un-pause button. Or play. Heck, a little fast forward wouldn't even hurt. Who has my life's TIVO remote?

Crap, its probably me.

Shoes you can use

I found the most amazing discovery at the drug store near my house. Didn't go looking for them - but there they were.

Shoes.

Now normally I will admit that I tend to favor two specific types of shoes - "How long can I really wear these" heels or nifty All-Stars. This was neither of those. It was a plain brown sandal.

What caught my eye were two of my favorite labels "Made in the USA" and my happy green "Recycle" symbol. Made in the USA and recyclable shoes at Walgreen's? But it gets even better.

- Both the shoes AND the hangers they come on are completely recyclable. Not only are the shoes recyclable in most local facilities, but you can also send them back to the company and they will recycle them into new shoes.

- The shoes are endorsed by the American Chiropractic Association.

- The shoes are antimicrobial and odor resistant (not that anyone has a problem w/ that...)

- To words: Vegan Friendly.

And you now what else - they were darn comfortable. Of course Walgreen's had 2 options, the heels and the flats. Heels = Women's and their label didn't mention the nod from the Chiropractors. Flats = Men's, so of course that's what I got. Then I learn about how they don't leave marks on the floor and how easily they can be put in either a washing machine OR a dishwasher to be cleaned!

On Easter I put these on in the morning and though I meant to change I ended up spending the entire day in them. Even in my awesome All-Stars, which I'd planned to wear that day, my feet start hurting after 4-5 hours of prep and hostessing. But not in these shoes. All night I was comfortable. That has never happened before!

I like to think of these as my first pair of Okabashi's as I will absolutely be getting these again. But next time online so I can get them in girly colors - or maybe ones that I might be able to pull off wearing to work.

Green for earth, healthy for me. Can't ask for more.

1 weekend down, next weekend Easter

Not only have I made it through tracking my first full week - the important part there being the weekend, which I've struggled with - but The Girlfriend has ALSO started tracking on a daily basis. She's weighing food. She's looking up food online. She's entering new items on the website if things aren't listed. She read labels while shopping.

It's like I'm falling in love all over again. :)

If that wasn't enough - I'm losing weight like I just started a new diet. 8 pounds since March 30th. I'm only about 2 pounds from my prior low.

I have not lost sight of the fact that Easter is next weekend, and I leave for the Philippines the next week. I'm tracking through Easter and I think there is a scale in at least one of the gyms so I'm hoping to keep track of my progress. Knowing is 1/2 the battle, right? Hopefully those chocolate crosants will look a bit less interesting if I see I've gained a few pounds.

Already looking forward to coming home to see the progress of my tracking sweetie. :)