Day 4, or maybe 7 if you count the hours...

I've always had a not-so-secret nerd crush on Dilbert.

Who has worked in an office and not seen themselves or others in the office in a far too close to the truth form staring up from that comic strip? I used to post them regularly around my desk. Some done with only humor in mind. Some in hopes that the right person would casually see them, realize it was all about them and immediately stop whatever it was they were doing.

I fondly and vividly remember the series he did when Dilbert was given the opportunity to telecommute. As I'm finishing my first week of telecommuting, I realized it's not quite what I expected all those years ago.







While quite different, there are some interesting parallels.

Day 1 - I was too busy working to think about the time I saved by not having to drive into an office.

Day 2 I did decide to skip the shower until that evening. After staying up late to get a few extra things set up, I wasn't excited about needing to be up by 3:30am to be able to shower. Stay up til 3? Sure! Get up at 3? I don't think so.

Day 3 - Throwing pencil at the ceiling? But then I'd have to clean my own ceiling. A trait much better left in the office. But, I did get a bit "working from home wild and crazy". I baked a cake. not from scratch, and the frosting came right out of a can, but I did bake it. During my lunch hour. Well, the baking was during lunch hour. Wait, does it count as a lunch hour when my laptop was on the island and I was sending email while adding the eggs?

Day 4 - I am totally pro-clothes. I was in a meeting today though - but I was so busy working through it I hardly remember what was discussed. Pretty sure beards didn't come up. I did find out that I'll be traveling again the first week in June and I can expect to be even busier in the next few weeks.

I'm working 14 hour days (at least, with breaks here and there) and (so far) I'm loving it. There has to be something seriously wrong with me, I know. But for now, I'm just going to sit back (in my office chair), relax (get back to work on a project for tomorrow), and enjoy it.

Emotional pizza

As I blow my nose and eat my delivered pizza, I realize that I've only had a single bottle of water today. Right now I'm about as far from healthy as you can get.

And yet this weekend I bought my first size 16 shorts. Well...my first size 16 on the way DOWN vs. on the way up....

I was pretty darn elated about it too. Also, before my trip I bought some size 18 things from a "regular" sized store - not the women's section - and they fit just great. I was almost over the moon on that one. It's one thing to be a "Women's" 18, but to be a regular old 18 was pretty cool. So why am I eating pizza?

Well, I'll tell you. My trip of errors is still not over. While the nausea has subsided, I have been struck with an awful cold/allergies (still not sure what as no medicine is working) and am almost constantly blowing my nose. No other signs, just blowing my nose and lovely sinus drainage. Lovely, don't you think?

So tonight when I was tired generally crabby, but when the idea of ordering Pizza and being lazy in my room made me momentarily happy, I knew I had to jump on it. There hasn't been a lot of happy on this trip. I did my research and found a small mom & pop shop and ordered from there. It wasn't the best pizza ever, but it gave me some happiness.

Emotional eating? You bet. Do I feel bad about it? Heck no.

Perhaps I should. I mean, I did have my oatmeal for breakfast, and a healthy salad for lunch to help sorta balance out the 1/2 a pizza I'm eating for dinner, but I still knowingly made an emotional decision to eat comfort food. I know it isn't good for me. And I know this isn't the way to lose more weight. But today, I just wanted a slice of happy. And for now, I'm ok with that.

I'm also not feeling bad about the 8 pieces of chocolates/fudge that I bought from a local spot out here yesterday. Walked the whole place. I knew I could have gotten much more. But instead I hand picked one of that and two of that and had her put it in a bag. Since yesterday I've had 3 pieces. It makes me a bit happy when I see the bag in the morning. It gives me hope thinking about it waiting for me when I get home. Again, am I making an emotional attachment to food? Well, sort of. I loved the buying of it almost more than the eating of it. (It's not as good as See's Candy back home.) It was so fun to spoil myself with a pedicure and a few hand picked chocolates, followed by dinner with good book. It was a Me evening. And if girl can't give in to a piece of chocolate now and then, what good is she?

When I get home I am going to be SO good again. Lots of water. Tracking my food again. Planing out meals. Getting more exercise. But for now, I'm making the best of a crappy out of town experience. Pizza and chocolate won't make it all better, but for tonight, they certainly do help.

Attempting to choose my own adventure - finally

Warning: The post you are about to read is blunt. Those with a weak stomach may want a friend to proof-read it for you first...

I'm hoping for a fresh start in hotel room #2 in my great "new job" adventure. Why a fresh start you may ask? Let's review.

#1 - My flight was late. About 30 min late. Not huge except the flight was already coming in SO late at night. It touched down about midnight.
#2 - My bag was the last one sent out from my flight. Maybe not last, but the crowds were gone. I think there was one guy left besides me...
#3 - The rental car wasn't in the right place. I was going up and down the levels until I finally found it myself - no help from the folks who worked there.
#4 - The GPS didn't work and I had no other back up directions because FOR ONCE I put my faith in having everything work out the was supposed to work.
#5 - Because I have to unpack before I can go to bed (though frankly that only takes 15-20 min max) I didn't lay down in bed until a bit after 2. And because I had just been running all over town, I was SO awake. It was well after 2:30am by the time I got to sleep.
#6 - The alarm went off at 5:30am. I was pretty exhausted through my first day at my first job. I caught my head bobbing a few times during a VERY important meeting. Great first impression...
#7 - I find out the internet in my room isn't working. The hotel and internet folks blame my laptop, and as it's new, I can't say anything. My first impression with IT will now be the girl who can't even make her internet work. Nice.
#8 - Trying to make my first day a bit better I stop in for some supplies at Trader Joe's. Decided to grab some pre-made food for dinner - healthy and cheap so the company should appreciate it. While I love Trader Joe's and will not stop shopping there - I got food poisoning eating the shrimp.
#9 - Day 2 of work I am late because I'm to busy throwing up and crapping I can't even make it into the shower. I finally make it in to work and spend the rest of my day running into the bathroom 2-3 times an hour until there is just nothing else to come out.
#10 - After Day 2, my plan is to come home, rest for a bit and then read through the benefit information I've been given. Heck no. I'm totally exhausted now and have a serious case of the chills. All I can do is crank up the heater, put on my jogging suit and crash out under the covers. I was basically out for the rest of the night.
#11 - I wake up on Day 3 too exhausted to get out of bed when the alarm goes off. I feel like I've been beaten up in a back alley - but from the inside out. I can't move without it hurting everywhere. I tell myself I'll sleep for 30 more minutes.
#12 - I am 2 hours late for work because I overslept. Didn't wake up until a girl from work called me to make sure I was ok after yesterday. Nice.

After finally getting to work and promising myself that today would be a different day - it was. I was able to take back some control. Learn a bit more. Talk to IT in an educated way about what I learned and what I needed. I had a fiber bar for breakfast and healthy Subway for lunch. After some fancy footwork with the Hotel proving to them the internet issue was their issue and not mine (pulled out the internet cable from their business center computer and put it in my laptop to prove it worked on their system - my idea, not IT's) they volunteered to give me a new room. King size bed instead of the queen I'd had. I lose my lovely view of the flowering tree, but I also lose the smell of the sushi and throw-up that I just couldn't get out of that other room. I figure it's a darn solid trade. I ate an unhealthy but felt good to my tummy dinner (fried chicken breast & mashed potatoes) that has filled me up so I'll sleep great tonight to start my first 100% fresh day at the office.

Off to sleep shortly to begin my newer and healthier day. It can't come soon enough...

Walking for health

There is a great organization out there called the Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization. While other groups work to find a cure in the future, Y-ME's focus is on providing help to those who are fighting breast cancer today. Their 24 hour support line staffed by others who have beat cancer is absolutely invaluable. Their other services are equally amazing - but the best part is that they are all provided at absolutely no cost. Everything is funded through our personal fundraising. Y-ME has been around for 30 years

Last year I wanted to participate in their annual Walk to Empower. I had friends participating. The Girlfriend was walking in it too. But I didn't. Frankly, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to complete it. And who wants to be the fat girl sitting on the side of the street out of breath while the walking grannies speed walk right past you? Not me.

This year, I've registered to walk. Losing that weight (so far) and my trips to the gym (though recently those are a fond memory) has made me confident that I'll be able to finish this one.

I really encourage everyone to learn more about Y-ME. They really are an amazing organization. And if you're reading this before Mothers Day 2008, feel free to support me in the walk too. Because really, it's not supporting me so much as it is contributing to this great organization. My personal page, where you can also find out more about Y-ME, is http://main.y-me.org/goto/healthyorbust .

Let's keep focused on being healthy and keeping others healthy. One step at a time.

Grasping the sweet, sweet carrot

How long have I wanted a job where I could telecommute? So long. We can fondly remember the (lies) dreams once discussed at a prior job, and it was regularly held out as a carrot encouraging me to wait a bit longer, work a bit harder, hold on just a few more weeks. But we all know what happened there, right? A big whopping nothing followed by no job at all either.

But the whole world has changed. I have the carrot. In fact, right now it's feeling so good it's like carrot cake. Sweet - so sweet.

I was offered and I have accepted the job where I'll be 100% telecommuting from home.

[Woo hoo! Ahhhhhh!!! The crowd goes wild!!!]

Yea, I'll be killing some serious carbon emissions with the travel I'll be doing, but it's something, right? I've already thought about looking into carbon offsets but I think it's a bit too soon for that.

I fly back there in 2 weeks to learn their systems and get a good feeling for how they run their systems. I'm already a bit scared that they have me down as spending just a week there. Eek! I'd really like to make it 2 weeks, but we'll see...

So - one goal achieved. And yet, is it? We'll have to see how much flying I actually do to know how it all balances out. But for now - the carrot is mine.

Long live the carrot.

Not so focused

A few dinners out. A weekend of bad hotel/interview food. That's apparently all it takes to gain 2 lbs. 196 looked so nice on the way down, but after 194 it looked downright evil. I hated 196. The only thing that scared me more was the prospect of seeing a 2 again! EEEK!!

I've tried to be good, but I have NOT been as good as I once was. Bad food in the house. Dinner out with friends. Unable to easily track my food at work (and since I generally have no time to even cook decent food, where would I get the time to track food?) or any other time. It's been slow, but I got 194 back and held on to it. Today I saw 193. It's day 1 so completely unofficial, but I have my fingers crossed to see it tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow we're doing lunch with her aunt at a The Farm at South Mountain. Unknown calories, but all about natural, organic and healthy living. It makes me happy every time I go. Not so bad. Dinner on the other hand is with The Aunt who lived with us for the last year. It's a thank you dinner for help over the last year and for moving all of her stuff. Smothered pork chops, rice and gravy. I don't anticipate a vegetable - though if I know here there MIGHT be one covered in cheese or overly cooked with butter and salt. That said - I'm not anticipating to be 193 on Monday. But wouldn't it be a nice surprise Mr. Scale???

The girlfriend told me that this is her LAST unhealthy weekend. I know I've heard it before, but I have higher hopes this time. Her "buddy" who supports/encourages beer drinking and less-healthy dinner outings is joining a work based weight loss contest with money on the line. If her Buddy stays on track, I'm thinking my sweetie will as well. Well, at least most of the time. I can confirm that these will be my last smothered or fried pork chops for a long, long time. Gotta get serious. Have to find a way to start tracking better again. Have to find a new job so I can actually make it to the gym again. Have to stay focused.

Focus in my personal life has never been my greatest skill, but writing it down helps. My next quick goal is to be 18_. I'm SO close - but I've been close for a long time. Have to get it. Have to reach a goal to remind myself how great it feels to get there. And how hard you push for the next one. Focus. Focus. Focus. Or something like that.