Today was my first day at my new job. My new full time job. I've had 3 shifts at my new part time job. Thursday will be my first day to do them both. To some folks that could sound stressful. But me, well..., I feel peaceful. Happy. Blessed.
I put up my Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. I finished putting on the lights the next night when I came home from an 8 hour day at the part time gig. Here it is Monday night and I haven't put up a single ornament, yet I get so much joy out of just seeing it all lit up in the living room when I pass it by. I've pulled the box of ornaments out of the garage and figure I'll get that done this week. It might annoy The Girlfriend a bit that it takes me so long, we have a long history of bitter battles over Christmas as I'm a Christmas adoring over-doer and she's a "Do we really need to celebrate?" kind of gal. And yet I feel like we'll be ok this year. She even helped me put the bows on the pillars outside our house and the wreath on the front door.
My last time on the scale showed movement in the wrong direction. We're still having Thanksgiving dinner leftovers every night - and likely will through the end of the week so I know that's not likely to change any time soon. And yet even this I have a sense of peace about. This is a step. This is just a part of the path. Sure, I'd hoped for a smoother one, but I'm the one who chose to stray from the original plan. I'm the one who stopped thinking about my food, thinking about every little step. I thought I just needed a break. I've learned that is just another excuse the mind creates. But, I feel like I'm almost to the spot where I'll see some light in front of it all. It's my job now to decide how badly I want to find that original path. It will be different now, but at least I'll know which way I'm headed. Not thinking about food is like not thinking about where you're going when walking in the woods. Do it for too long, and soon you'll realize that you have no idea where you are, how you got there, or how to get back. I am going to pick a direction and be aware of every step. Sure, I might take a step or two off the path to smell a particularly beautiful flower (Or small piece of chocolate cake) but I can never forget that I'm on a path and I need to step right back on it when I'm done.
When Thanksgiving leftovers are gone and I start getting a pay check again, it will be time to get out that compass and find that path.
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