Today I made plans for my birthday. The plans involve pizza and cake. None of these things will be the "healthy versions". I may give in to some non-diet soda as well because something about pizza + bowling alley = either Root Beer or Cherry Coke, and these things rarely come in diet at a bowling alley.
Not quite healthy.
Today I planned to do an early dinner so we could FINALLY make it out to the gym. It's only been 3-4 months. Insane. I'm paying a whole lot for the pleasure of holding a card in my pocket. So we made plans to go. And what happened? She was tired. I was swamped with work. Excuses given, gym excused. So what did we do after dinner? Watch tv and share some ice cream. It felt awesome at the time. Some nice cozy at home time. Then I realize I have to be asleep in 90 minutes, still haven't done most of the work that was my reason for staying home in the first place and now I have to stay up to do it all which means I'm getting less sleep. More stress. Less sleep. Less exercise.
Not healthy at all.
While I'm not gaining weight, I'm not losing anything either. I tried using TDP the other day and it lasted 2 days. I'm just SO busy in the new job that I don't feel like I have the time. It requires planning to eat healthy. Who has time for planning?
Sigh... I need to. The Girlfriend said she really wants to get the house healthy again. She wants me to start eating healthy again because she knows how much I enjoyed it (most of the time) and how it made me feel good about myself. Right now I feel fat - super fat. When so much of this process is mental - it's a sad fact that I am already feeling a bit defeated when in actuality I've been decently successful prior to the new job.
I need to find that thing. That motivator. That kick in the pants.
But first, I'm eating my frickin' birthday cake.
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