Remember that scene in "When Harry met Sally"? Sally sat on the edge of her bed and wailed, "And I'm going to be fourth!
Harry said, surprised and sympathetically, "When?"
And as Sally's cries come to a cresheno she yells, "SOMEDAY!"
When I saw that so many years ago it was funny and I felt some sort of sympathy for the idea that as women we all get older and that she was feeling that feeling that all of us feel now and then - "How is it that I am at this point in my life and THIS is all I've done?". The plans we made, the goals we had, all the things we were going to accomplish somehow don't happen quite the way we planned.
Now, I see that in a whole now way. Why, you may ask?
Because in 14 weeks, I will be 40.
This is not what I pictured. It's not what I pictured at all.
Even a few years ago. I thought I was on a path to be in a better place by now. I was eating healthy, losing weight and doing it the right way. I knew there would be struggles, but I knew I would make it. But instead, I fell back into bad habits. I became comfortable. I made excuses to myself, and part of me believed them.
I don't want to be fat when I'm forty. I know I will never be model thin. I know I wont look the way I did in high school. But if I can hold myself to healthy habits for the next 14 weeks I might at least get back to where I was a few years ago. And while last time my goals were bigger, today I just look forward to seeing 190 on the scale again.
The scale currently says 217. I am not happy.
Today was when I realized it was just 14 weeks away. Within 5 minutes, after the shock wore off, I had pulled up Daily Plate and I started tracking my calories. Then when I came home I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, and then made a uber-healthy chicken salad for dinner.
One day down, 14 weeks to go.
Showing posts with label Healthy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Healthy. Show all posts
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Doctor Part 2: You aren't dying...soon
My adventures with the lab tests were interesting. It went from worst to best - though even the worst wasn't so bad. The pelvic ultrasound was in itself easy - but having to drink all that water, not be allowed to pee and then someone wants to press on your tummy is not so fun. The vaginal ultrasound was...unexpected... but not uncomfortable. It was kinda cool to get to see the body's perspective from that angle. So as you can imaging the Mammogram after that was no big deal.
As I leave they tell me they will send my results in the mail. 3 weeks later I'm still waiting. 4 weeks later my Dr. is on vacation so they can't tell me anything. At the beginning of week 5 I get a call from the lab and they want me to come back to do a boob ultrasound. But she has no idea why. Gotta love that. I made the appointment for early the next week, but then asked for a Doctor to call me back with what they were looking for and/or why they needed the follow up test.
Have I mentioned recently how much I appreciate the discounted Cobra this administration pushed through? I thought about it every day while waiting for that letter to arrive...
I have to say, the Doctor who called me back was wonderful. Very informative and very calming. One of his first sentences was "We do not think it is cancer." This is the kind of direct communication I was looking for. Apparently I have dense breast tissue, and they can't really see what they need from a mammogram. He thinks I might have a few cysts, but those are common enough and generally no big deal - but they want to be sure. Again, I appreciate it. I'd rather come in 5 times to be 100% sure than just once for a 85% sure diagnosis.
Final results - I have 2 fibroids on the outside of my uterus, about 12 "nodules" in one boob and about 5 in the other. The fibroids aren't messing with Aunt Flo since they are on the outside, so no rush to deal with anything there. The "nodules" all look like the boring kind that oh so many people get so they aren't concerned - BUT I need to come in every 4 months for the next year for them to do continued follow up to track any growth, movement or changes in shape. Again, I appreciate the level of detail.
So, I can breath well again for now. I may be a bit extra lumpy, but I'm fine. I'm healthy.
And wasn't that the whole point?
:)
As I leave they tell me they will send my results in the mail. 3 weeks later I'm still waiting. 4 weeks later my Dr. is on vacation so they can't tell me anything. At the beginning of week 5 I get a call from the lab and they want me to come back to do a boob ultrasound. But she has no idea why. Gotta love that. I made the appointment for early the next week, but then asked for a Doctor to call me back with what they were looking for and/or why they needed the follow up test.
Have I mentioned recently how much I appreciate the discounted Cobra this administration pushed through? I thought about it every day while waiting for that letter to arrive...
I have to say, the Doctor who called me back was wonderful. Very informative and very calming. One of his first sentences was "We do not think it is cancer." This is the kind of direct communication I was looking for. Apparently I have dense breast tissue, and they can't really see what they need from a mammogram. He thinks I might have a few cysts, but those are common enough and generally no big deal - but they want to be sure. Again, I appreciate it. I'd rather come in 5 times to be 100% sure than just once for a 85% sure diagnosis.
Final results - I have 2 fibroids on the outside of my uterus, about 12 "nodules" in one boob and about 5 in the other. The fibroids aren't messing with Aunt Flo since they are on the outside, so no rush to deal with anything there. The "nodules" all look like the boring kind that oh so many people get so they aren't concerned - BUT I need to come in every 4 months for the next year for them to do continued follow up to track any growth, movement or changes in shape. Again, I appreciate the level of detail.
So, I can breath well again for now. I may be a bit extra lumpy, but I'm fine. I'm healthy.
And wasn't that the whole point?
:)
Friday, August 7, 2009
The Doctor: Part 1, No good excuses
I've worked on being better to the environment. I've worked on awareness for what I put into my body. I've made good strides in turning that healthy corner. One thing I hadn't done, for almost 4 years, is go to the Dr.
Now, I'm in no way one of those people that fears the Doctor. I like my Doctor and while I'm no fan of needles or giving blood, I would never let that stop me from going. So what has stopped me? Well, first I had no insurance. For about a year my job had no benefits. Then, I went through a series of jobs that had benefits - but required about 18 hours out of each day leaving little time to even think about the Dr, much less make a phone call - and I couldn't imagine taking time out of my busy day for a check up. But now, I certainly have the time. And, thanks to the reduced rate Cobra benefits for the rest of the year, I also have insurance.
My plan had been to go for a basic check up, but when I get there I find out that for a series of different reasons relating to the insurance - I actually need to schedule that as a separate visit. But, she asks me if there is anything particular that I'd like to discuss with her at this appointment. And I did...
I think it's only natural that when a person loses weight they begin to analyze all of their body's parts and sizes a bit more intently than they did before. While doing this sort of pinching, poking and prodding, I felt something that I had not felt before. A bit of a hard lump in my gut. I pulled over The Girlfriend for a comparison and while I felt something there with her, mine seemed bigger. I figured it was period related based on when I felt it. Then, over the next few months I noticed that it wasn't really changing in size based on "that time of the month". Seemed strange, but I figured it wasn't any big deal. I called it "My Tumor" much to The Girlfriend's distaste. She would routinely give the Arnold-esque response "It's not a tumor!". But who has time to check, right?
Recently I realized that while I had not lost any weight or done something to change my perspective on it, My Tumor had gotten a bit bigger. When lying flat on the ground, that side was just a bit higher than the other. It was time to go the Doctor, but I faced the fear that should I go to the Dr, if for any reason my coverage lapsed this would be counted as a pre-existing condition. With no clear job in sight, that it a scary proposition.
"Actually Dr., I have this weird lump I noticed..."
She has me lie down and without me even pointing it out she goes right to it. Next thing I know I'm being referred to get an ultrasound to check it out and she's confirming that I'm all done having children. What?? Um, no, I hadn't started yet. This seems to be a concern for her. The mass is in my uterus which right now feels as if I were 5 months pregnant. She mentions there is likely something that can be done about it if I still really want to have children. We both agree to cross that bridge when we have a better feeling for exactly what is happening.
Next week I will be getting an ultrasound, and my first mammogram.
The Doctor wasn't scared, so I won't be either. That's not to say I'm not anxious. I am.
Fingers crossed.
Now, I'm in no way one of those people that fears the Doctor. I like my Doctor and while I'm no fan of needles or giving blood, I would never let that stop me from going. So what has stopped me? Well, first I had no insurance. For about a year my job had no benefits. Then, I went through a series of jobs that had benefits - but required about 18 hours out of each day leaving little time to even think about the Dr, much less make a phone call - and I couldn't imagine taking time out of my busy day for a check up. But now, I certainly have the time. And, thanks to the reduced rate Cobra benefits for the rest of the year, I also have insurance.
My plan had been to go for a basic check up, but when I get there I find out that for a series of different reasons relating to the insurance - I actually need to schedule that as a separate visit. But, she asks me if there is anything particular that I'd like to discuss with her at this appointment. And I did...
I think it's only natural that when a person loses weight they begin to analyze all of their body's parts and sizes a bit more intently than they did before. While doing this sort of pinching, poking and prodding, I felt something that I had not felt before. A bit of a hard lump in my gut. I pulled over The Girlfriend for a comparison and while I felt something there with her, mine seemed bigger. I figured it was period related based on when I felt it. Then, over the next few months I noticed that it wasn't really changing in size based on "that time of the month". Seemed strange, but I figured it wasn't any big deal. I called it "My Tumor" much to The Girlfriend's distaste. She would routinely give the Arnold-esque response "It's not a tumor!". But who has time to check, right?
Recently I realized that while I had not lost any weight or done something to change my perspective on it, My Tumor had gotten a bit bigger. When lying flat on the ground, that side was just a bit higher than the other. It was time to go the Doctor, but I faced the fear that should I go to the Dr, if for any reason my coverage lapsed this would be counted as a pre-existing condition. With no clear job in sight, that it a scary proposition.
"Actually Dr., I have this weird lump I noticed..."
She has me lie down and without me even pointing it out she goes right to it. Next thing I know I'm being referred to get an ultrasound to check it out and she's confirming that I'm all done having children. What?? Um, no, I hadn't started yet. This seems to be a concern for her. The mass is in my uterus which right now feels as if I were 5 months pregnant. She mentions there is likely something that can be done about it if I still really want to have children. We both agree to cross that bridge when we have a better feeling for exactly what is happening.
Next week I will be getting an ultrasound, and my first mammogram.
The Doctor wasn't scared, so I won't be either. That's not to say I'm not anxious. I am.
Fingers crossed.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
My button is stuck
It has been too long my friend. I think of you often. But while the thought means something with gifts but nothing with blogs. I'd hit that point in life where the words of my grandmother came back to me - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
I knew I wanted to post something, but decided to read through old posts for some inspiration. Some reflection of where I was, similar struggles I'd had in the past - that sort of thing. Something to help me put words on where I was right now. Suddenly - there it was. It wasn't a post - it was actually a draft. Something that somehow never got posted. This was written 10/26/8 and when I read it, I felt I could have just written it. With just one exception - I've been laid off again. So, not only am I on "Pause" as I mention below, someone just hit "stop" on my finances. (And isn't this just the perfect time to go looking for a job?) Still, the words below are quite timely...
I think somehow, somewhere someone hit the pause button on my life. Of course, life doesn't actually pause. That would be too easy. And we would notice much faster. But I've been noticing it this week and need to figure out how to get it "un-stuck".
I knew I wanted to post something, but decided to read through old posts for some inspiration. Some reflection of where I was, similar struggles I'd had in the past - that sort of thing. Something to help me put words on where I was right now. Suddenly - there it was. It wasn't a post - it was actually a draft. Something that somehow never got posted. This was written 10/26/8 and when I read it, I felt I could have just written it. With just one exception - I've been laid off again. So, not only am I on "Pause" as I mention below, someone just hit "stop" on my finances. (And isn't this just the perfect time to go looking for a job?) Still, the words below are quite timely...
I think somehow, somewhere someone hit the pause button on my life. Of course, life doesn't actually pause. That would be too easy. And we would notice much faster. But I've been noticing it this week and need to figure out how to get it "un-stuck".
My social life is on pause. I feel like I plan on so many things, but then do so little of it.
My weight is on pause. I suppose I should be happy its not on rewind. And it's nice that I have clothes that fit for these dang business trips - but still, I'd rather be losing weight.
My green-ing of my life has been put on pause in a bad way. Tons of flights, bottled water because you can't take a refillable bottle to the airport and gas driving to and from work each day - almost an hour each direction.
I work, I come home, Watch some TV, work some more, go to sleep, repeat.
I think I'm canceling my gym membership because we haven't gone in months. Well, I went once right before I got this job and I really hoped to make that a habit. But that was the only time either of us have gone in 5 months or so. Wasted cash. Then again, if we cancel I'll feel like I'm giving up on one of my goals. Its tough. That one I've put on pause. Easier to avoid than to have to make a decision.
I need to find my un-pause button. Or play. Heck, a little fast forward wouldn't even hurt. Who has my life's TIVO remote?
Crap, its probably me.
Friday, January 2, 2009
2008: A Retrospective
Another year gone. A few less pounds. A few more gray hairs.
The years go faster and faster and faster. Mama didn't lie about that!
Decided to look back at the year. Let's see what I've done. The good, the bad, the ugly. Then, what I'm hoping to see out of this year.
Weight: 2008
January 1st, 2008 I was 208 lbs. I can't tell you what my weight was on the last day of the year because my scale is acting funny. Cheap scales break. Expensive scales "act funny". I'm hoping to sort it out by this weekend, but last time I checked, which was just a few days before, I was at 193.6. While I'm happy that all this time of not tracking food, not exercising etc has not led to a massive weight gain, looking back to see that in all this time I lost a total of less than 15 lbs this year is pretty scary. And just to make it worse, in April I was down to 190. Of course, August was back to 198. Dang those same 10 lbs I keep losing and gaining for the last 9 months!
Weight: Outlook 2009
I'm have a semi stable job now that, while I need to travel now and then, should allow me to work on better eating habits. The Girlfriend swears she's going to start being healthier this year. Where are we now? House full of sweets from the holiday party. I'm working through them as fast as I can. :) Not exactly moving toward my goal, but I can't throw away yummy food. Just can't do it. Not yet. Do I have a goal here? It's tough. My next bit point is to be a 14/16. That's "normal girl" sized. I dreamed of being a 16 by Christmas, but didn't put in the effort. I promise to put in effort this year. Let's say the dream is to be a 14/16 by my birthday. [Special note here, I'm been saying for awhile now that I want to give my hair to locks of love once my face gets small enough to try short hair. I've been saying I want to give it away next summer for awhile now. I think at 14/16 I can get away w/ short hair. :) ]
Active Lifestyle: 2008
My gym membership should count as a charitable contribution because I never ever go. I've almost canceled it I can't say how many times but I keep hoping that something will change and I'll be able to go again. No such luck. We haven't walked around the neighborhood or the awesome park, and we haven't ridden our bikes in so long I think they both need new tires. I have gotten her to take me dancing a bit more often - but does 6 times a year really count?
Active Lifestyle: Outlook 2009
We got a Wii for Christmas. It's been used quite a few times. Standing up to do anything is better than just sitting there like a lump watching TV. And I'm planning to buy the Wii Fit by Spring (Maybe I can make that a "reward" for doing good w/ healthy eating?) so we can start doing at home simple work. Even if it only gets used on the weekends, it would be a great improvement over what we do now. I still think I might cancel the gym membership. I'm giving myself until February to decide for sure. I want to find at least one other way to bring fitness into our lives without the gym. It would be great if we brought back the bikes (and really used them)or found something else that makes us happy so we do it regularly without feeling like it's a forced work out.
Eco Living: 2008
I put it in the backseat to focus on weight. That wasn't an awful decision, but it's been tough. I'm still the recycle nazi to my friends, but as I've admitted, in times of stress or pure exhaustion even I have slipped. I've traveled a ton with my millions of jobs this year and I've done nothing to off-set it. (I'm also not getting enough miles to on a consistent airline to add up to anything good!!) We still use paper and plastic at our holiday gatherings when I'd really wanted to go with "real plates" to ensure that it was more eco friendly. I still absolutely suck at unplugging things I know I should - like cell phone chargers - when not in use. I didn't have enough time to do much in the way of eco shopping (Farmers markets, local produce, local/sustainable housewares and presents) where I stayed in the super-grocery-marts and Targets of the world because I had no time to drive extra or only buy veggies on a Saturday morning between 8 and 10am. I still have the same car that still gets not enough MPG and I still drive it an hour each day, each way.
Eco Living: Outlook 2009
I worked from home more than usual for the holiday. Woman coming back from maternity leave has already said that she WILL work from home regularly. If I could get them to do work from home 2x a month - that would be AWESOME! Also, I live right down the street from someone who works at the same office. (Insane, but true) and we've both been so busy there was no such thing as a "normal" schedule to figure out carpooling. Once I am sharing the workload, I think I can actually carpool. I know there will be some times we can't do it, but even bringing it down 2x a week would make an awesome dent in my gas bills. If I can do it more than that???? Heaven! and that car that I'll be driving was just paid off so I'll be able to make a financially healthy choice to use that extra cash for the insane credit card debt caused by the same car earlier this year! I want to find more locally owned spots that sell more locally made things. I heard about a butcher that sells the pork it raises organically that's only like 15 min from my house - but of course they have limited hours which means I've not made it there. That needs to change this year - I need to make it a goal.
Healthy mind/spirit: 2008
Really enjoyed going to church at the beginning of the year, but as jobs changed and stress raised, I went less often by the end of the year. Almost the only quiet reflective time I found for myself was when traveling. Staring out at the clouds on one quiet trip, I even wrote a poem. Haven't done that in a few years. On another I pulled out 3 poems and 2 songs (sang to myself in the car, and couldn't remember them by the time I could pull over, but they gave me hours of enjoyment in the car). This was a great reminder to me of how important it is to find those times. The no-tv, no one else needs anything but you kind of quiet times. It was also a big reminder that I have to make those moments happen - they won't always just happen on their own.
Healthy mind/spirit: Outlook 2009
Church makes me happy to go, so I need to get back in the habit. I also need to find time for things that make me happy. Reading a book. Blogging. A good coffeehouse with amazing coffee and cool poetry readings. (OK, wishing a bit too far out on that one I'm sure...) Something that makes that little quiet part of you deep deep inside sit back, close it's eyes and exhale deeply. And how important it is to give that same little part of you something that is all about fun - like karaoke or air hockey or singing loudly with a friend to bad 80's music in the car. Work life balance is important, and if I keep working 18 hours a day I'll never find it. I have to work to keep the job, while keeping some level of balance. This may be the hardest thing I try to do all year - but without that, nothing else here will have the time to happen.
Goodbye 2008. You showed me that even in some crazy crazy times, even if I can't always be moving forward I can make sure I don't take a serious step back. Here's looking forward to 2009!
The years go faster and faster and faster. Mama didn't lie about that!
Decided to look back at the year. Let's see what I've done. The good, the bad, the ugly. Then, what I'm hoping to see out of this year.
Weight: 2008
January 1st, 2008 I was 208 lbs. I can't tell you what my weight was on the last day of the year because my scale is acting funny. Cheap scales break. Expensive scales "act funny". I'm hoping to sort it out by this weekend, but last time I checked, which was just a few days before, I was at 193.6. While I'm happy that all this time of not tracking food, not exercising etc has not led to a massive weight gain, looking back to see that in all this time I lost a total of less than 15 lbs this year is pretty scary. And just to make it worse, in April I was down to 190. Of course, August was back to 198. Dang those same 10 lbs I keep losing and gaining for the last 9 months!
Weight: Outlook 2009
I'm have a semi stable job now that, while I need to travel now and then, should allow me to work on better eating habits. The Girlfriend swears she's going to start being healthier this year. Where are we now? House full of sweets from the holiday party. I'm working through them as fast as I can. :) Not exactly moving toward my goal, but I can't throw away yummy food. Just can't do it. Not yet. Do I have a goal here? It's tough. My next bit point is to be a 14/16. That's "normal girl" sized. I dreamed of being a 16 by Christmas, but didn't put in the effort. I promise to put in effort this year. Let's say the dream is to be a 14/16 by my birthday. [Special note here, I'm been saying for awhile now that I want to give my hair to locks of love once my face gets small enough to try short hair. I've been saying I want to give it away next summer for awhile now. I think at 14/16 I can get away w/ short hair. :) ]
Active Lifestyle: 2008
My gym membership should count as a charitable contribution because I never ever go. I've almost canceled it I can't say how many times but I keep hoping that something will change and I'll be able to go again. No such luck. We haven't walked around the neighborhood or the awesome park, and we haven't ridden our bikes in so long I think they both need new tires. I have gotten her to take me dancing a bit more often - but does 6 times a year really count?
Active Lifestyle: Outlook 2009
We got a Wii for Christmas. It's been used quite a few times. Standing up to do anything is better than just sitting there like a lump watching TV. And I'm planning to buy the Wii Fit by Spring (Maybe I can make that a "reward" for doing good w/ healthy eating?) so we can start doing at home simple work. Even if it only gets used on the weekends, it would be a great improvement over what we do now. I still think I might cancel the gym membership. I'm giving myself until February to decide for sure. I want to find at least one other way to bring fitness into our lives without the gym. It would be great if we brought back the bikes (and really used them)or found something else that makes us happy so we do it regularly without feeling like it's a forced work out.
Eco Living: 2008
I put it in the backseat to focus on weight. That wasn't an awful decision, but it's been tough. I'm still the recycle nazi to my friends, but as I've admitted, in times of stress or pure exhaustion even I have slipped. I've traveled a ton with my millions of jobs this year and I've done nothing to off-set it. (I'm also not getting enough miles to on a consistent airline to add up to anything good!!) We still use paper and plastic at our holiday gatherings when I'd really wanted to go with "real plates" to ensure that it was more eco friendly. I still absolutely suck at unplugging things I know I should - like cell phone chargers - when not in use. I didn't have enough time to do much in the way of eco shopping (Farmers markets, local produce, local/sustainable housewares and presents) where I stayed in the super-grocery-marts and Targets of the world because I had no time to drive extra or only buy veggies on a Saturday morning between 8 and 10am. I still have the same car that still gets not enough MPG and I still drive it an hour each day, each way.
Eco Living: Outlook 2009
I worked from home more than usual for the holiday. Woman coming back from maternity leave has already said that she WILL work from home regularly. If I could get them to do work from home 2x a month - that would be AWESOME! Also, I live right down the street from someone who works at the same office. (Insane, but true) and we've both been so busy there was no such thing as a "normal" schedule to figure out carpooling. Once I am sharing the workload, I think I can actually carpool. I know there will be some times we can't do it, but even bringing it down 2x a week would make an awesome dent in my gas bills. If I can do it more than that???? Heaven! and that car that I'll be driving was just paid off so I'll be able to make a financially healthy choice to use that extra cash for the insane credit card debt caused by the same car earlier this year! I want to find more locally owned spots that sell more locally made things. I heard about a butcher that sells the pork it raises organically that's only like 15 min from my house - but of course they have limited hours which means I've not made it there. That needs to change this year - I need to make it a goal.
Healthy mind/spirit: 2008
Really enjoyed going to church at the beginning of the year, but as jobs changed and stress raised, I went less often by the end of the year. Almost the only quiet reflective time I found for myself was when traveling. Staring out at the clouds on one quiet trip, I even wrote a poem. Haven't done that in a few years. On another I pulled out 3 poems and 2 songs (sang to myself in the car, and couldn't remember them by the time I could pull over, but they gave me hours of enjoyment in the car). This was a great reminder to me of how important it is to find those times. The no-tv, no one else needs anything but you kind of quiet times. It was also a big reminder that I have to make those moments happen - they won't always just happen on their own.
Healthy mind/spirit: Outlook 2009
Church makes me happy to go, so I need to get back in the habit. I also need to find time for things that make me happy. Reading a book. Blogging. A good coffeehouse with amazing coffee and cool poetry readings. (OK, wishing a bit too far out on that one I'm sure...) Something that makes that little quiet part of you deep deep inside sit back, close it's eyes and exhale deeply. And how important it is to give that same little part of you something that is all about fun - like karaoke or air hockey or singing loudly with a friend to bad 80's music in the car. Work life balance is important, and if I keep working 18 hours a day I'll never find it. I have to work to keep the job, while keeping some level of balance. This may be the hardest thing I try to do all year - but without that, nothing else here will have the time to happen.
Goodbye 2008. You showed me that even in some crazy crazy times, even if I can't always be moving forward I can make sure I don't take a serious step back. Here's looking forward to 2009!
Monday, July 14, 2008
5 down, oh so many to go...
I am a bad, bad girl.
Bad. Bad Girl.
How could it have been 2 weeks since my last post? I know life is a bit of a blur these days, but there are so many times that I meant to post something that somehow I feel that at least one of those should have counted and turned into a real post but I suppose that's not really how it happens now is it? Oh, if only that were the only way I was bad.
It's been well documented that I've been eating crap. Crap, crap and more crap. Crap-o-la. I tried to toss in at least one healthy meal a day, but that was quickly taken over by sudden cravings for Doritos or chocolate or Pizza. And I gave in. I was weak. One weak behavior begot another and it never quite seemed like it was "time" to go 100% back to being healthy.
And then Mr. Scale showed me 197.
But I wasn't mad at Mr. Scale - I was mad at myself. I did it all to myself. I could have been in the 170's by now if I'd kept up with it and instead I let myself not just be dormant, but actually gain back a few pounds through sloppy eating choices. To suddenly see 3 pounds away from the dreaded 200 was enough to get me off my butt. That was July 9th. I started tracking my calories again on TDP immediately. Even though with the new job I had "no time" I knew I had to find the time. I had to make it happen.
Turns out, my body didn't really want that extra weight. Through normal healthy eating I've been really surprised at the results.
July 9 - 197
July 11 - 196
July 12 - 194
July 13 - 193
July 14 - 192
Fine - tell me it's water weight. Tell me it's whatever you want to call it. All I know is I'm down 5lbs in less than a week so I'm over the moon.
My next challenge? I go out of town in a week, and I've always allowed myself to make less than ideal food decisions when traveling for work. This time it will have the additional challenge of a) Being in Atlanta where I hear the food is amazing and b) Being car-less so all my food must be within walking distance. No fridge, no microwave, no grocery store.
In my ideal world I'd have one suitcase just for bottled water, fruit, 100 calorie snacks and of course Mr. Evil Scale. Hmmm... do they make traveling scales? Perhaps it's time to give Mr. Scale a friend...
Bad. Bad Girl.
How could it have been 2 weeks since my last post? I know life is a bit of a blur these days, but there are so many times that I meant to post something that somehow I feel that at least one of those should have counted and turned into a real post but I suppose that's not really how it happens now is it? Oh, if only that were the only way I was bad.
It's been well documented that I've been eating crap. Crap, crap and more crap. Crap-o-la. I tried to toss in at least one healthy meal a day, but that was quickly taken over by sudden cravings for Doritos or chocolate or Pizza. And I gave in. I was weak. One weak behavior begot another and it never quite seemed like it was "time" to go 100% back to being healthy.
And then Mr. Scale showed me 197.
But I wasn't mad at Mr. Scale - I was mad at myself. I did it all to myself. I could have been in the 170's by now if I'd kept up with it and instead I let myself not just be dormant, but actually gain back a few pounds through sloppy eating choices. To suddenly see 3 pounds away from the dreaded 200 was enough to get me off my butt. That was July 9th. I started tracking my calories again on TDP immediately. Even though with the new job I had "no time" I knew I had to find the time. I had to make it happen.
Turns out, my body didn't really want that extra weight. Through normal healthy eating I've been really surprised at the results.
July 9 - 197
July 11 - 196
July 12 - 194
July 13 - 193
July 14 - 192
Fine - tell me it's water weight. Tell me it's whatever you want to call it. All I know is I'm down 5lbs in less than a week so I'm over the moon.
My next challenge? I go out of town in a week, and I've always allowed myself to make less than ideal food decisions when traveling for work. This time it will have the additional challenge of a) Being in Atlanta where I hear the food is amazing and b) Being car-less so all my food must be within walking distance. No fridge, no microwave, no grocery store.
In my ideal world I'd have one suitcase just for bottled water, fruit, 100 calorie snacks and of course Mr. Evil Scale. Hmmm... do they make traveling scales? Perhaps it's time to give Mr. Scale a friend...
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Let me eat cake
Tomorrow I eat cake. Ok, well, I actually chose to go with giant cupcakes instead of cake this year. So... mini-cakes. Tomorrow I eat cake and pizza and non-diet soda. That was my splurge, right?
Oh the crap that I have eaten in the last few days. I haven't even bothered to get on the scale because the result would surely scare the crap out of me.
On my birthday, a Wednesday, we went out for Mexican food. Then we went to the grocery store. I wanted dessert and figured maybe I'd get something sweet there while I picked up some salad and stuff for the week. I got fresh baked cookies from the bakery. I was actually craving that EXACT cookie all day, so when I saw them there, I had to get them. Chewy chocolate cookies with pecans. I don't even like freaking nuts and yet I had been fantisizing about these dang cookies. I got two containers. I call them Birthday Cookies now. I say hello to them every time I pass them in the kitchen. "Hi Birthday Cookies!" "Good Morning Birthday Cookies!" "Well hello Birhtday Cookies - you're looking lovely and smelling great today!" Over the next 2 days I ate about 3 a day. Still have about 3 left from container #1 as of Saturday night. Not as bad as I could have been - sure, but not really healthy either.
The next day we go to Costco to order the cake and pick up some healthy cereal for me as I'm out. We eat Costco Pizza and I give in to non-diet soda. I'm a bad, bad girl. Lucky for me they weren't offering samples that day...
Friday we go out to eat at a new Cajun spot. Honestly, while it waasn't exactly great, the gumbo wasn't TOO bad. Chicken and sausage, but there wasn't much sausage. Mostly rice and fresh veggies. But the potato salad, mac & chees and those lovely hushpuppies weren't exactly diet food.
Saturday breakfast started good, as it always does, but it was pretty much down hill from there. Fast food fried chicken sandwich, fries and a non-diet coke for lunch. M&M's in the movie. Starbucks at the store. Soft pretzel at the mall. Around 9pm I realize I haven't had any water yet today. And the closest thing to a vegetable were the pieces of soggy tomato I bit into before I pulled them off my sandwich at lunch. Wow. I suck.
Do I want to try to say that I needed this time? It would be a lie. But it certainly would be a convenient one. Really, it's just a matter of allowing travel to let me fall back into old habits. I need to MAKE myself work harder both when I'm at home and when I travel. Looking at the food in the aisles at the store today just made me angry. It was all SO bad for you. But it was easy. It was convenient. It was my reminder. Easy and convenient is what got me to 235. I am never, never, never going to be there again. I can't keep sliding. An off day - heck an off week can't derail me the way it has recently. Time to pick myself up by the bootstraps. [Since I don't wear boots should that be bra straps? Not sure...]
I will allow 1 more bad day because it's already planned and I know that even if I was being healthy the rest of the time I'd let myself splurge for my birthday. But as of Monday it's back to the scale. By the end of the week I want to have measurments too. Scares the crap out of me, but it has to happen. Because the results of doing nothing, staying in this cycle of crap, scares me even more.
Oh the crap that I have eaten in the last few days. I haven't even bothered to get on the scale because the result would surely scare the crap out of me.
On my birthday, a Wednesday, we went out for Mexican food. Then we went to the grocery store. I wanted dessert and figured maybe I'd get something sweet there while I picked up some salad and stuff for the week. I got fresh baked cookies from the bakery. I was actually craving that EXACT cookie all day, so when I saw them there, I had to get them. Chewy chocolate cookies with pecans. I don't even like freaking nuts and yet I had been fantisizing about these dang cookies. I got two containers. I call them Birthday Cookies now. I say hello to them every time I pass them in the kitchen. "Hi Birthday Cookies!" "Good Morning Birthday Cookies!" "Well hello Birhtday Cookies - you're looking lovely and smelling great today!" Over the next 2 days I ate about 3 a day. Still have about 3 left from container #1 as of Saturday night. Not as bad as I could have been - sure, but not really healthy either.
The next day we go to Costco to order the cake and pick up some healthy cereal for me as I'm out. We eat Costco Pizza and I give in to non-diet soda. I'm a bad, bad girl. Lucky for me they weren't offering samples that day...
Friday we go out to eat at a new Cajun spot. Honestly, while it waasn't exactly great, the gumbo wasn't TOO bad. Chicken and sausage, but there wasn't much sausage. Mostly rice and fresh veggies. But the potato salad, mac & chees and those lovely hushpuppies weren't exactly diet food.
Saturday breakfast started good, as it always does, but it was pretty much down hill from there. Fast food fried chicken sandwich, fries and a non-diet coke for lunch. M&M's in the movie. Starbucks at the store. Soft pretzel at the mall. Around 9pm I realize I haven't had any water yet today. And the closest thing to a vegetable were the pieces of soggy tomato I bit into before I pulled them off my sandwich at lunch. Wow. I suck.
Do I want to try to say that I needed this time? It would be a lie. But it certainly would be a convenient one. Really, it's just a matter of allowing travel to let me fall back into old habits. I need to MAKE myself work harder both when I'm at home and when I travel. Looking at the food in the aisles at the store today just made me angry. It was all SO bad for you. But it was easy. It was convenient. It was my reminder. Easy and convenient is what got me to 235. I am never, never, never going to be there again. I can't keep sliding. An off day - heck an off week can't derail me the way it has recently. Time to pick myself up by the bootstraps. [Since I don't wear boots should that be bra straps? Not sure...]
I will allow 1 more bad day because it's already planned and I know that even if I was being healthy the rest of the time I'd let myself splurge for my birthday. But as of Monday it's back to the scale. By the end of the week I want to have measurments too. Scares the crap out of me, but it has to happen. Because the results of doing nothing, staying in this cycle of crap, scares me even more.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Emotional pizza
As I blow my nose and eat my delivered pizza, I realize that I've only had a single bottle of water today. Right now I'm about as far from healthy as you can get.
And yet this weekend I bought my first size 16 shorts. Well...my first size 16 on the way DOWN vs. on the way up....
I was pretty darn elated about it too. Also, before my trip I bought some size 18 things from a "regular" sized store - not the women's section - and they fit just great. I was almost over the moon on that one. It's one thing to be a "Women's" 18, but to be a regular old 18 was pretty cool. So why am I eating pizza?
Well, I'll tell you. My trip of errors is still not over. While the nausea has subsided, I have been struck with an awful cold/allergies (still not sure what as no medicine is working) and am almost constantly blowing my nose. No other signs, just blowing my nose and lovely sinus drainage. Lovely, don't you think?
So tonight when I was tired generally crabby, but when the idea of ordering Pizza and being lazy in my room made me momentarily happy, I knew I had to jump on it. There hasn't been a lot of happy on this trip. I did my research and found a small mom & pop shop and ordered from there. It wasn't the best pizza ever, but it gave me some happiness.
Emotional eating? You bet. Do I feel bad about it? Heck no.
Perhaps I should. I mean, I did have my oatmeal for breakfast, and a healthy salad for lunch to help sorta balance out the 1/2 a pizza I'm eating for dinner, but I still knowingly made an emotional decision to eat comfort food. I know it isn't good for me. And I know this isn't the way to lose more weight. But today, I just wanted a slice of happy. And for now, I'm ok with that.
I'm also not feeling bad about the 8 pieces of chocolates/fudge that I bought from a local spot out here yesterday. Walked the whole place. I knew I could have gotten much more. But instead I hand picked one of that and two of that and had her put it in a bag. Since yesterday I've had 3 pieces. It makes me a bit happy when I see the bag in the morning. It gives me hope thinking about it waiting for me when I get home. Again, am I making an emotional attachment to food? Well, sort of. I loved the buying of it almost more than the eating of it. (It's not as good as See's Candy back home.) It was so fun to spoil myself with a pedicure and a few hand picked chocolates, followed by dinner with good book. It was a Me evening. And if girl can't give in to a piece of chocolate now and then, what good is she?
When I get home I am going to be SO good again. Lots of water. Tracking my food again. Planing out meals. Getting more exercise. But for now, I'm making the best of a crappy out of town experience. Pizza and chocolate won't make it all better, but for tonight, they certainly do help.
And yet this weekend I bought my first size 16 shorts. Well...my first size 16 on the way DOWN vs. on the way up....
I was pretty darn elated about it too. Also, before my trip I bought some size 18 things from a "regular" sized store - not the women's section - and they fit just great. I was almost over the moon on that one. It's one thing to be a "Women's" 18, but to be a regular old 18 was pretty cool. So why am I eating pizza?
Well, I'll tell you. My trip of errors is still not over. While the nausea has subsided, I have been struck with an awful cold/allergies (still not sure what as no medicine is working) and am almost constantly blowing my nose. No other signs, just blowing my nose and lovely sinus drainage. Lovely, don't you think?
So tonight when I was tired generally crabby, but when the idea of ordering Pizza and being lazy in my room made me momentarily happy, I knew I had to jump on it. There hasn't been a lot of happy on this trip. I did my research and found a small mom & pop shop and ordered from there. It wasn't the best pizza ever, but it gave me some happiness.
Emotional eating? You bet. Do I feel bad about it? Heck no.
Perhaps I should. I mean, I did have my oatmeal for breakfast, and a healthy salad for lunch to help sorta balance out the 1/2 a pizza I'm eating for dinner, but I still knowingly made an emotional decision to eat comfort food. I know it isn't good for me. And I know this isn't the way to lose more weight. But today, I just wanted a slice of happy. And for now, I'm ok with that.
I'm also not feeling bad about the 8 pieces of chocolates/fudge that I bought from a local spot out here yesterday. Walked the whole place. I knew I could have gotten much more. But instead I hand picked one of that and two of that and had her put it in a bag. Since yesterday I've had 3 pieces. It makes me a bit happy when I see the bag in the morning. It gives me hope thinking about it waiting for me when I get home. Again, am I making an emotional attachment to food? Well, sort of. I loved the buying of it almost more than the eating of it. (It's not as good as See's Candy back home.) It was so fun to spoil myself with a pedicure and a few hand picked chocolates, followed by dinner with good book. It was a Me evening. And if girl can't give in to a piece of chocolate now and then, what good is she?
When I get home I am going to be SO good again. Lots of water. Tracking my food again. Planing out meals. Getting more exercise. But for now, I'm making the best of a crappy out of town experience. Pizza and chocolate won't make it all better, but for tonight, they certainly do help.
Monday, October 22, 2007
10 down, so so many to go...
As of today I am 10 pounds less than my last "normal" weight. I am outrageously excited. I feel like I've lost 30 in terms of my motivation.
I decided to take this moment of double digit-ness to look back at some of my posts since summer. Boy I really fell off the boat. But I knew it at the time, which helps a bit. But I'm so not there anymore. Here's my current State of Me.
- Down 10 lbs. Did I already mention that? Of course I did. But it's worth mentioning again. All through eating healthy foods and upping my activity level. Who would have thought it?
- I admited to failure in keeping up the yard. I got quotes from about 5 different companies and picked a guy. It looks so much better now. I need to replace the 4 dead trees in the back, and I think I have The Girlfriend convinced to make at least 2 of them fruit producing trees. I'm quite excited about that! Think I'll wait until after the winter to get them as it was winter that killed the last ones. Maybe use a little tax rebate $ for it.
- While I still feel like I've lost control of a part of the house, The Girlfriend and I have talked and I found out she agrees with me and was similarly frustrated. WOW does that help! As we're pretty much cooking for ourselves these days, one of those issues has been resolved. As for the others, I'm going to have to take baby steps. I organized the spice cabinet a bit this weekend, which helped. I'm thinking I'll attack the pantry shortly which always makes me feel a bit more kitchen controled. Yes, I have some itty bitty baby control issues. But really - who doesn't need to feel in control of their own house? Some scream, some clean - I organize.
- I took my first Pilates class last week. Oh my. I was in SO much pain for days after. This week I'll miss it because of a church meeting, but I'm planning to do it on a regular basis.
- I went to the Farmers Market last weekend and bought 3 veggies I've never bought before (though I've eaten them) Italian zucchini, Eggplant, and Spagetti Squash. I'm looking forward to finding good recipes, making them, and to slowly opening The Girlfriend's palatte toward vegetables!
I have a new attitude on healthy. And I know that to reach my all-inclusive goals, there are certain times were I have to focus on just one to really be effective. Not that I'll ever lose sight of my more global goals, but right now I can't effectively improve in 100 different ways all at once. Picking your battles, you know? And for now, I've selected the Battle of the Bulge.
Current weight (Based on evil home scale): 222
First goal: 198 - I'll be SO dang excited to be clearly under 200!
Second goal: 180 - This will be such a major improvment. At this point I really want to celebrate where I've been and how much I will have accomplished. Losing 50 pounds is HUGE and something that before didn't even seem real. Now, I can almost taste it.
Third goal: 160 - This is my major goal. At this point I should be about a size 16-18 I think and I'll be able to celebrate a whole new set of stores to buy clothing! I was still getting quite a bit of attention at this weight level (when the weight was going up) if my memory serves correctly, so I know I'll be able to really feel confident here.
Super ultimate, not sure if I can actually do it but if I could wave a magic wand and get it my goal would be: 135 - I thought I was so fat at this weight. Now, it's my pipe dream.
One step at a time, 1 meal at a time, I'll make my goals.
I decided to take this moment of double digit-ness to look back at some of my posts since summer. Boy I really fell off the boat. But I knew it at the time, which helps a bit. But I'm so not there anymore. Here's my current State of Me.
- Down 10 lbs. Did I already mention that? Of course I did. But it's worth mentioning again. All through eating healthy foods and upping my activity level. Who would have thought it?
- I admited to failure in keeping up the yard. I got quotes from about 5 different companies and picked a guy. It looks so much better now. I need to replace the 4 dead trees in the back, and I think I have The Girlfriend convinced to make at least 2 of them fruit producing trees. I'm quite excited about that! Think I'll wait until after the winter to get them as it was winter that killed the last ones. Maybe use a little tax rebate $ for it.
- While I still feel like I've lost control of a part of the house, The Girlfriend and I have talked and I found out she agrees with me and was similarly frustrated. WOW does that help! As we're pretty much cooking for ourselves these days, one of those issues has been resolved. As for the others, I'm going to have to take baby steps. I organized the spice cabinet a bit this weekend, which helped. I'm thinking I'll attack the pantry shortly which always makes me feel a bit more kitchen controled. Yes, I have some itty bitty baby control issues. But really - who doesn't need to feel in control of their own house? Some scream, some clean - I organize.
- I took my first Pilates class last week. Oh my. I was in SO much pain for days after. This week I'll miss it because of a church meeting, but I'm planning to do it on a regular basis.
- I went to the Farmers Market last weekend and bought 3 veggies I've never bought before (though I've eaten them) Italian zucchini, Eggplant, and Spagetti Squash. I'm looking forward to finding good recipes, making them, and to slowly opening The Girlfriend's palatte toward vegetables!
I have a new attitude on healthy. And I know that to reach my all-inclusive goals, there are certain times were I have to focus on just one to really be effective. Not that I'll ever lose sight of my more global goals, but right now I can't effectively improve in 100 different ways all at once. Picking your battles, you know? And for now, I've selected the Battle of the Bulge.
Current weight (Based on evil home scale): 222
First goal: 198 - I'll be SO dang excited to be clearly under 200!
Second goal: 180 - This will be such a major improvment. At this point I really want to celebrate where I've been and how much I will have accomplished. Losing 50 pounds is HUGE and something that before didn't even seem real. Now, I can almost taste it.
Third goal: 160 - This is my major goal. At this point I should be about a size 16-18 I think and I'll be able to celebrate a whole new set of stores to buy clothing! I was still getting quite a bit of attention at this weight level (when the weight was going up) if my memory serves correctly, so I know I'll be able to really feel confident here.
Super ultimate, not sure if I can actually do it but if I could wave a magic wand and get it my goal would be: 135 - I thought I was so fat at this weight. Now, it's my pipe dream.
One step at a time, 1 meal at a time, I'll make my goals.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
My "Daily Plate" of online addiction
I've found a new website obsession. It's been 2 days of web-bliss.
So - as you know I've been all about being healthy with a renewed passion recently. (Yea, I know, I know, it was about dang time) I didn't want to go on a diet though. I kept thinking about it. Was tempted by Weight Watcher's Point system online - but I held back. First of all - why should I have to pay them each month for a concept they are really only giving me once. Next, why should I pay that much for the idea of "eat healthy, watch portion control" which is really what it is. I decided I was going to do it alone. I cut back. I ate better. I saw some results.
Then - the headaches started. Bad, bad headaches. For no good reason. The Girlfriend suggests it could be because of my eating. Turns out one of the symptoms of a too-low calorie diet is headaches. Hmph. So I'm starting to think that maybe there is some trick for this thing. Maybe I do need to pay for professional help.
And then, like a heavenly bolt of lightening, I find The Daily Plate while looking for the calorie content of a grilled chicken breast. I forget all about the chicken breast and I'm taken over by The Daily Plate.
This amazing site has a free service where you can create a profile based on age, height, weight, natural activity level - and then it will tell you how many calories you should be eating. As if that wasn't enough - look up the foods on their site and just click "I ate this" for it to be added to your daily total. It tells you through the day how many calories you "have left" before you've reached your goal.
All that sounds good - but wait - there's more! There is a daily diary to talk about how you felt each day so you can remember what was working - and what wasn't. It also tracks your activity to show how many calories were burned through your day. And why? Because if you are using more fuel, you'll need to re-fuel faster. It also tracks your weight, your measurements and a bunch of other things for your easy access from any computer!
Sound intriguing? Don't get out that check book just yet! They also have a forum section where folks can talk about what they are doing, what has or hasn't worked, interact with other users, and just generally find common ground. There are also groups set up around the site so you can quickly join a group with similar backgrounds or issues. Prior eating disorder? A group to feel your pain. Over 100 lbs to lose? Meet folks who are on the same path - and others who've done it. Doing Atkins? They've got your bread alternative!
How much would you pay for that? Let me tell you. NOTHING! Yes, that's right - Nothing! This is a completely free web site! Sure, sure - they have another option to pay just $45/year to unlock yet additional features. So far, I'm thinking the freebie is all I need. Maybe in a few months I'll need to up my motivation. But when I do - it will cost less for a whole year of this than for 4 months of online Weight Watchers!
Ok, that's all for now. I have to go reply to a forum that's calling my name. Homemade Pumpkin Lattes at just 65 calories? Yum!
So - as you know I've been all about being healthy with a renewed passion recently. (Yea, I know, I know, it was about dang time) I didn't want to go on a diet though. I kept thinking about it. Was tempted by Weight Watcher's Point system online - but I held back. First of all - why should I have to pay them each month for a concept they are really only giving me once. Next, why should I pay that much for the idea of "eat healthy, watch portion control" which is really what it is. I decided I was going to do it alone. I cut back. I ate better. I saw some results.
Then - the headaches started. Bad, bad headaches. For no good reason. The Girlfriend suggests it could be because of my eating. Turns out one of the symptoms of a too-low calorie diet is headaches. Hmph. So I'm starting to think that maybe there is some trick for this thing. Maybe I do need to pay for professional help.
And then, like a heavenly bolt of lightening, I find The Daily Plate while looking for the calorie content of a grilled chicken breast. I forget all about the chicken breast and I'm taken over by The Daily Plate.
This amazing site has a free service where you can create a profile based on age, height, weight, natural activity level - and then it will tell you how many calories you should be eating. As if that wasn't enough - look up the foods on their site and just click "I ate this" for it to be added to your daily total. It tells you through the day how many calories you "have left" before you've reached your goal.
All that sounds good - but wait - there's more! There is a daily diary to talk about how you felt each day so you can remember what was working - and what wasn't. It also tracks your activity to show how many calories were burned through your day. And why? Because if you are using more fuel, you'll need to re-fuel faster. It also tracks your weight, your measurements and a bunch of other things for your easy access from any computer!
Sound intriguing? Don't get out that check book just yet! They also have a forum section where folks can talk about what they are doing, what has or hasn't worked, interact with other users, and just generally find common ground. There are also groups set up around the site so you can quickly join a group with similar backgrounds or issues. Prior eating disorder? A group to feel your pain. Over 100 lbs to lose? Meet folks who are on the same path - and others who've done it. Doing Atkins? They've got your bread alternative!
How much would you pay for that? Let me tell you. NOTHING! Yes, that's right - Nothing! This is a completely free web site! Sure, sure - they have another option to pay just $45/year to unlock yet additional features. So far, I'm thinking the freebie is all I need. Maybe in a few months I'll need to up my motivation. But when I do - it will cost less for a whole year of this than for 4 months of online Weight Watchers!
Ok, that's all for now. I have to go reply to a forum that's calling my name. Homemade Pumpkin Lattes at just 65 calories? Yum!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
And the light went on
I had a radical thought the other day when it came to weight loss. Maybe not radical for some, but it was like a light went off for me.
This isn't how I have to be forever.
Ok, that may not seem like much, but it was how it all began. So I've been eating healthy, tried to do more physical things including going to the gym. And for a few minutes it all felt so futile. There was this feeling that it was never going to end. Salad. Chicken. Fish. Reading labels. But then it hit me. I don't have to do this forever. Now, I don't mean being overweight as ya might think. It was all about the realization that YES, this sucks. And NO it is not fun. BUT - Dieting doesn't last forever.
Sure, we want to be healthy, we want to maintain. But it's a whole different thing to maintain where you are than to try to make your body work in reverse - burning up more than you're giving it each day. Maintaining means I need to maintain a level of good food and activity - but if I feel like not going to the gym for a month, it won't kill me. And if I feel like some chocolate pudding now and then, cool. As long as all these things are done understanding their potential for cumulative damage - thus done carefully, then no biggie. Somehow that's completely changed my attitude. Yes, eating this good all the time is no fun. But it won't last forever.
One of the hardest things for me so far have been times where I pretty much HAD to eat badly. Pizza place w/ 3 friends all wanting to share one? Fine, I had pizza. 15 minutes to get to church meeting after work - ok, I'll get drive though, but it will be the healthiest (least good tasting) thing on their menu. And I know at some point in the next few weeks because a friend is in town, we'll be hitting Lo Lo's Chicken and Waffles. Oh my, I love that place. The old me would have loved these opportunities to cheat. It would have been fun to have that excuse. The new me is just realizing that for every bad choice I make, there will be 2-3 more good choices I'll have to make to make up for it. Thus - I'll have to be doing this longer. And I don't want to be doing this forever. But - I'm willing to do what I need to do for now.
And I think, for now, I've decided to trust The Lying Scale. Because as of yesterday morning it was 228. It is all going to fall off next week? Dear heavens no. But I'm working on it. And this weekend, because part of me doesn't trust The Lying Scale, I think I'm going to do some measurements. Those suck. Because I remember what they used to be long, long ago. They won't be that good again, I understand that - but I'm going to get a hell of a lot closer than I am today!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Overcoming IHOP
This morning, The Girlfriend and Aunt P. wanted IHOP. Dang them. Luckily I had just given The Girlfriend the big "dang it we are GOING to be healthy" speech last night and she'd agreed to it all. So, I was able to talk them out of it - until we found there was no milk for cereal. Dang it. So I dragged myself down to the neighborhood store.
I got their lousy 2% and made myself feel special with some organic skim milk.
Her 2% went over Pops. My organic skim went over low calorie and high fiber organic granola with raisins.
She filled up a serving bowl. I measured out exactly one cup into a small bowl.
Well, she may not eat quite as healthy as I'm going to try to do, but it can't stop me. And besides, her job is more physical so she's burning way more calories than my tiny cubicle will allow me to burn.
I've been so freaking healthy today. I'm eating grapes right now when I really wanted the chocolate chunk cookies sitting on the counter. 1 day down. 7-8 years or so to go...
I got their lousy 2% and made myself feel special with some organic skim milk.
Her 2% went over Pops. My organic skim went over low calorie and high fiber organic granola with raisins.
She filled up a serving bowl. I measured out exactly one cup into a small bowl.
Well, she may not eat quite as healthy as I'm going to try to do, but it can't stop me. And besides, her job is more physical so she's burning way more calories than my tiny cubicle will allow me to burn.
I've been so freaking healthy today. I'm eating grapes right now when I really wanted the chocolate chunk cookies sitting on the counter. 1 day down. 7-8 years or so to go...
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
If you can't say something nice...
You know that saying, right? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all? I think all that good upbringing has had a serious impact on my blogging. I just don't have anything nice to say.
Healthy Home? Not quite. We still haven't replaced all the light bulbs - even though the new good ones were purchased months ago. We keep saying we should. But we don't. Oh yea, and all those awesome Method products I bought have been replaced by Windex, 409 and whatever else is available at the dollar store. Cheaper yes, but I'm willing to pay more for security.
Healthy Body? Haven't been to the gym in about 2 months. I've totally gone back to fast food - though only for breakfast regularly. Last week I had terrific back pain that came in spasms and lasted for about 5 days. I still have no health insurance so it was just me, ibuprofen and a vibrating back massager to try to make it go away.
Healthier environment? The carrot was pulled away immediately after it was given. Now it's a "Maybe 1 day a week or so - but only on permission" kind of a thing. So far I've gotten that permission once. I think that was when I stopped having anything nice to say.
So where am I now? Kinda pissed. Kinda lost. I decided I needed to start with little things.
First thing I did was sign up for cake decorating classes. I know, I know - not healthy. But it makes me happy. And I can use a little happy. It's also 4 weeks of Saturdays where we have to get out of the house by 9am. I'm hoping that can help out on some weekend time management.
I AM going back to the gym. We've been focusing on the house too much for my tastes. Yes, it's nice and clean now, but I have to make me the priority again. I'm going to put the gym bag in the car tomorrow.
I need to buy some skim milk for work and keep cereal and a bowl there. I have just gotten so sick of the oatmeal I could hardly eat it - I need something new for awhile.
What else? No idea. Making this up as I go along. So, I'm sorry I didn't have too many nice things to say, but I promise I'm working to change it.
Healthy Home? Not quite. We still haven't replaced all the light bulbs - even though the new good ones were purchased months ago. We keep saying we should. But we don't. Oh yea, and all those awesome Method products I bought have been replaced by Windex, 409 and whatever else is available at the dollar store. Cheaper yes, but I'm willing to pay more for security.
Healthy Body? Haven't been to the gym in about 2 months. I've totally gone back to fast food - though only for breakfast regularly. Last week I had terrific back pain that came in spasms and lasted for about 5 days. I still have no health insurance so it was just me, ibuprofen and a vibrating back massager to try to make it go away.
Healthier environment? The carrot was pulled away immediately after it was given. Now it's a "Maybe 1 day a week or so - but only on permission" kind of a thing. So far I've gotten that permission once. I think that was when I stopped having anything nice to say.
So where am I now? Kinda pissed. Kinda lost. I decided I needed to start with little things.
First thing I did was sign up for cake decorating classes. I know, I know - not healthy. But it makes me happy. And I can use a little happy. It's also 4 weeks of Saturdays where we have to get out of the house by 9am. I'm hoping that can help out on some weekend time management.
I AM going back to the gym. We've been focusing on the house too much for my tastes. Yes, it's nice and clean now, but I have to make me the priority again. I'm going to put the gym bag in the car tomorrow.
I need to buy some skim milk for work and keep cereal and a bowl there. I have just gotten so sick of the oatmeal I could hardly eat it - I need something new for awhile.
What else? No idea. Making this up as I go along. So, I'm sorry I didn't have too many nice things to say, but I promise I'm working to change it.
Monday, August 13, 2007
When time flies, healthy flies
Time is flying recently! Positively flying!
Big parties and planning and folks coming in from out of town and food and cooking and baking and going out to eat/drink/socialize day after day after day. Not that I'm really complaining but OH my goodness time sure does go quickly when you're busy.
Unfortunately, this has brought with it convenience food - as we're always on the go, or the kind of special "bad" foods that are only made when folks are in town or for special parties. And of course there has been no time to go to the gym, yet that $50 leaves my check account month after month. And then many of the friends/family don't understand how we recycle so it's a matter of trying to casually pick out those cans and bottles out of the trash, dump and rinse them and put them into the recycle - without being called "The Recycle Nazi" too many times through the night.
So while absolutely wonderful, the last month hasn't exactly been "healthy". That said, my number on the scale has not changed. So apparently I haven't gone too overboard. That said, I've been saying how important it is that we make some clear changes shortly. The Girlfriend wants those changes in organizing the house. I'd have a messy house if it meant I was spending more time cooking healthy foods and going to the gym - but I know we need to find a happy medium between the two to keep a happy and "healthy" house.
Big parties and planning and folks coming in from out of town and food and cooking and baking and going out to eat/drink/socialize day after day after day. Not that I'm really complaining but OH my goodness time sure does go quickly when you're busy.
Unfortunately, this has brought with it convenience food - as we're always on the go, or the kind of special "bad" foods that are only made when folks are in town or for special parties. And of course there has been no time to go to the gym, yet that $50 leaves my check account month after month. And then many of the friends/family don't understand how we recycle so it's a matter of trying to casually pick out those cans and bottles out of the trash, dump and rinse them and put them into the recycle - without being called "The Recycle Nazi" too many times through the night.
So while absolutely wonderful, the last month hasn't exactly been "healthy". That said, my number on the scale has not changed. So apparently I haven't gone too overboard. That said, I've been saying how important it is that we make some clear changes shortly. The Girlfriend wants those changes in organizing the house. I'd have a messy house if it meant I was spending more time cooking healthy foods and going to the gym - but I know we need to find a happy medium between the two to keep a happy and "healthy" house.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Praying for rain
As I type this it is pouring outside. While a rarity in Phoenix - this is our Monsoon season so it's not quite so strange. But it brought me back to a conversation I had this weekend.
While driving from Phx to Las Vegas we drove over the Hoover Dam. Comments were made by several about the colors of the rock. We commented as to how much the water had gone down vs the prior water level. There were a few comments that it was due to our recent drought. A comment was then made by an elderly woman (girlfriend's grandma) that all we needed to do to change that was to pray for rain. Someone said that folks pray for rain all the time. The woman said that apparently they weren't all praying hard enough because if we all really prayed about it the Lord would deliver it.
My immediate response was that it also says in the bible that we are to be good stewards of the land, plants and animals and that if we were doing a good job there, we wouldn't have an issue of global warming and thus we wouldn't have an issue of this level of drought. She agreed with me. Said that sounded about right to her. I was shocked. See, this is a woman with very strong beliefs. Getting her to say that someone else was right after she'd made her own opinion is no small achievement. Not like I was going for a gold start or anything - but it kinda felt like I'd gotten one.
This brings up two points to me.
First - I'm tired of someone thinking if they pray for something they will get it. One of my favorite Sunday school lessons in 5th grade (Shout out to Mrs. Caradine if you are still around!) had to do with God answering a prayer. She explained that God always answers prayers - but it may not always be the answer you wanted. She said that in general there are 3 possible responses. Yes. No. Or, Not right now. That immediately struck me. All those folks who complained that God wasn't listening - when really they just didn't like his answer. It totally clicked to me. Talk about a healthy way of looking at the world. Well, at least it works for me.
Second - Why aren't more churches saying the same thing? I know it's a new trend that some churches are jumping on the environmental band wagon, but I remember making the logical jump back when I first heard of Earth Day in High School. Now days, with Global Warming being discussed in commercials, tv shows, and part of many dinner conversations - why isn't the church united behind that? Let me tell ya - they might get a bunch more miles than gay marriage. It's certainly relatable. In fact, I'd say it's one of the most important "laws" out there. It might not be in the top 10 list or anything (not that we bother to pay attention to many of those now days) but it was one of the first things Adam and Eve were told to do. Believe he really told it to them. Believe it was a symbol of the beginning of the world. Whatever. Either way - that was their whole job. Do you really think our jobs have changed?
I don't. Let's keep it clean. It's what the big guy wanted.
While driving from Phx to Las Vegas we drove over the Hoover Dam. Comments were made by several about the colors of the rock. We commented as to how much the water had gone down vs the prior water level. There were a few comments that it was due to our recent drought. A comment was then made by an elderly woman (girlfriend's grandma) that all we needed to do to change that was to pray for rain. Someone said that folks pray for rain all the time. The woman said that apparently they weren't all praying hard enough because if we all really prayed about it the Lord would deliver it.
My immediate response was that it also says in the bible that we are to be good stewards of the land, plants and animals and that if we were doing a good job there, we wouldn't have an issue of global warming and thus we wouldn't have an issue of this level of drought. She agreed with me. Said that sounded about right to her. I was shocked. See, this is a woman with very strong beliefs. Getting her to say that someone else was right after she'd made her own opinion is no small achievement. Not like I was going for a gold start or anything - but it kinda felt like I'd gotten one.
This brings up two points to me.
First - I'm tired of someone thinking if they pray for something they will get it. One of my favorite Sunday school lessons in 5th grade (Shout out to Mrs. Caradine if you are still around!) had to do with God answering a prayer. She explained that God always answers prayers - but it may not always be the answer you wanted. She said that in general there are 3 possible responses. Yes. No. Or, Not right now. That immediately struck me. All those folks who complained that God wasn't listening - when really they just didn't like his answer. It totally clicked to me. Talk about a healthy way of looking at the world. Well, at least it works for me.
Second - Why aren't more churches saying the same thing? I know it's a new trend that some churches are jumping on the environmental band wagon, but I remember making the logical jump back when I first heard of Earth Day in High School. Now days, with Global Warming being discussed in commercials, tv shows, and part of many dinner conversations - why isn't the church united behind that? Let me tell ya - they might get a bunch more miles than gay marriage. It's certainly relatable. In fact, I'd say it's one of the most important "laws" out there. It might not be in the top 10 list or anything (not that we bother to pay attention to many of those now days) but it was one of the first things Adam and Eve were told to do. Believe he really told it to them. Believe it was a symbol of the beginning of the world. Whatever. Either way - that was their whole job. Do you really think our jobs have changed?
I don't. Let's keep it clean. It's what the big guy wanted.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Contemplating small steps
I've been really awful in my "healthy body" habits for the last few weeks. Not to the point I've forgotten what my goals are, but easily to the point that I'd go 2-3 days without a really healthy meal. But here's the thing. I weighed myself this morning. No change. Mind you - I'm happy to see it, but it was a bit of a surprise.
What if 2 meals a day were healthier? And then I added in some activity 3-4 times a week? If eating bad and watching TV have had no change in weight, what would just a small amount of change consistently bring? Isn't that my ecological goal too? Consistent small steps forward?
So today I went into a bike shop. I looked at the pretty bikes and the sporty bikes. I dreamed of filling baskets with picnic goodies. Of the wind whipping through my hair. I dreamed of being healthy enough to able to ride it fast enough for long enough the wind would actually whip through my hair... I have a cheap bike that I stopped riding because it wasn't comfortable. Would I ride one if it was actually comfortable? Am I willing to pay $300-400 to find out? I'm seriously thinking about it. Or maybe, in the spirit of small steps, I should start with filling the tires of my current bike. It's a thought.
What if 2 meals a day were healthier? And then I added in some activity 3-4 times a week? If eating bad and watching TV have had no change in weight, what would just a small amount of change consistently bring? Isn't that my ecological goal too? Consistent small steps forward?
So today I went into a bike shop. I looked at the pretty bikes and the sporty bikes. I dreamed of filling baskets with picnic goodies. Of the wind whipping through my hair. I dreamed of being healthy enough to able to ride it fast enough for long enough the wind would actually whip through my hair... I have a cheap bike that I stopped riding because it wasn't comfortable. Would I ride one if it was actually comfortable? Am I willing to pay $300-400 to find out? I'm seriously thinking about it. Or maybe, in the spirit of small steps, I should start with filling the tires of my current bike. It's a thought.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Healthy Kitty, Healthy world
That part of my brain that justifies bad decisions has just come up with a good "reason" why eating fast food isn't such a bad thing. Ready for this? Paper bags.
Funny huh? I know, I know - why would a recycler like myself like getting paper bags. I can answer that it 2 words - Kitty Poop. Yes, Kitty Poop.
You see, I recently learned about how general scoopable cat litter was bad. Bad, bad bad actually. Where to begin.
- Most have dust containing an agent that causes cancer. And when that dust on our kitties feet gets put on our sofas, pillows and hands guess who breathes it all in? The one who bought the kitty liter and all their friends and family. Nice.
- The clay that makes it "clump" was strip-mined from the ground. Yes I said strip-mined. To the tune of 2 million tons a year. Have your attention yet?
- Once the clay has been processed - it's not bio degradable. Can't be flushed. So tons and tons of kitty poop are sitting in landfills.
- Most folks use plastic bags (as they are in such abundance) to throw away their kitty poop.
So, we've got stinky cancer causing chemicals in a non-bio degradable format in a non-bio degradable bag. Oh how non-green it is!!!
I'm currently working to transfer my lovely and picky kitty over to Swheat Scoop Wheat Litter. Thought about doing the pine, but I know our kitty would hate the smell. Swheat scoop is bio degradable. But how to dispose of it..... Supposedly if you're willing to wait 20 minutes for it to dissolve a bit first, you can flush it down the toilet. Not a horrible idea, but I'm not willing to waste 12-15 gallons of water per Kitty cleaning flush every day when my city is in a drought. We often put the poop in plastic bags still around the house. (Who thinks shoe shopping = plastic bags? One day I'll learn...) But of course then it's not bio-degradable.
And now we are full circle. Fast food bags. Small. Free (with purchase). Completely bio-degradable. If my whole household goes even 3 times a week (that would be once a week for each of us) we'd have enough bags. And while I'd like to dramatically reduce my numbers there, I think there are other folks in the house who would more than make up for me. So, thanks to McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Popeye's, Jack in the Box, Sonic, Burger King and many others not listed here - I'll be able to dramatically reduce our Kitty Poop ecological footprint. I'm not sure our Kitty cares, but I'm quite excited.
Funny huh? I know, I know - why would a recycler like myself like getting paper bags. I can answer that it 2 words - Kitty Poop. Yes, Kitty Poop.
You see, I recently learned about how general scoopable cat litter was bad. Bad, bad bad actually. Where to begin.
- Most have dust containing an agent that causes cancer. And when that dust on our kitties feet gets put on our sofas, pillows and hands guess who breathes it all in? The one who bought the kitty liter and all their friends and family. Nice.
- The clay that makes it "clump" was strip-mined from the ground. Yes I said strip-mined. To the tune of 2 million tons a year. Have your attention yet?
- Once the clay has been processed - it's not bio degradable. Can't be flushed. So tons and tons of kitty poop are sitting in landfills.
- Most folks use plastic bags (as they are in such abundance) to throw away their kitty poop.
So, we've got stinky cancer causing chemicals in a non-bio degradable format in a non-bio degradable bag. Oh how non-green it is!!!
I'm currently working to transfer my lovely and picky kitty over to Swheat Scoop Wheat Litter. Thought about doing the pine, but I know our kitty would hate the smell. Swheat scoop is bio degradable. But how to dispose of it..... Supposedly if you're willing to wait 20 minutes for it to dissolve a bit first, you can flush it down the toilet. Not a horrible idea, but I'm not willing to waste 12-15 gallons of water per Kitty cleaning flush every day when my city is in a drought. We often put the poop in plastic bags still around the house. (Who thinks shoe shopping = plastic bags? One day I'll learn...) But of course then it's not bio-degradable.
And now we are full circle. Fast food bags. Small. Free (with purchase). Completely bio-degradable. If my whole household goes even 3 times a week (that would be once a week for each of us) we'd have enough bags. And while I'd like to dramatically reduce my numbers there, I think there are other folks in the house who would more than make up for me. So, thanks to McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Popeye's, Jack in the Box, Sonic, Burger King and many others not listed here - I'll be able to dramatically reduce our Kitty Poop ecological footprint. I'm not sure our Kitty cares, but I'm quite excited.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
3 cookies for breakfast. Pizza for lunch. Pete's Fish and Chips for dinner. Chocolate cake and Vanilla Ice cream for late night snack with friends.
I remember thinking I wanted to be healthy. Obviously that's all it was if I'm eating like this!
Crap.
I'm blaming the holiday. And the stress. But for now - the holiday.
[ Note to the Me that is reading this later on. Do you want to continue to get out of breath after just clapping for your favorite team? Don't you want to wear some of the other clothes in the closet? Focus!]
I'm still drinking my water but I can't think of the last time I was in the gym. Weeks?? I'd have to look back at my blog to remember when I last weighed myself. And while I've been averaging 1.5 good meals a day - the other ones have been bad enough to negate all the good stuff. So. Time to turn things around.
Really. I know it's hard. But I have to do it.
This sucks.
I remember thinking I wanted to be healthy. Obviously that's all it was if I'm eating like this!
Crap.
I'm blaming the holiday. And the stress. But for now - the holiday.
[ Note to the Me that is reading this later on. Do you want to continue to get out of breath after just clapping for your favorite team? Don't you want to wear some of the other clothes in the closet? Focus!]
I'm still drinking my water but I can't think of the last time I was in the gym. Weeks?? I'd have to look back at my blog to remember when I last weighed myself. And while I've been averaging 1.5 good meals a day - the other ones have been bad enough to negate all the good stuff. So. Time to turn things around.
Really. I know it's hard. But I have to do it.
This sucks.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Healthy Patriotism
Yesterday was, of course, the gigantic 4th of July food-fest at my house. Mmmm-mmm-mmm the patriotism was a-flowing while the burgers were a-grilling. I'm happy to report that there were actually quite a few political discussions going on in the house. Topic discussed included racism, political candidates, gay marriage, gays in the military, the movie Sicko, and the legal requirements to move out of the country. We even had some more healthy dinner choices. Sure, we had ribs, burgers and hot dogs, but the hot dogs were Hebrew National and some of the burgers were turkey! And of course we had the baked macaroni salad and the yummy corn casserole - but we ALSO had roasted vegetables, low-fat slaw, broccoli-slaw salad (Called Olympia salad though I have no idea why) and some other inventive veggie salad options such as wilted cucumber salad. We had a vegetarian friend over who brought his own veggie dogs, and with respect for him everyone was aware to ensure that most of the sides were veggie friendly (watching out for those hidden ingredients).
Yes, we had a little bit of everything. And not just the food. Our crowd represented White, Black, Hispanic, Bi-racial, Male, Female, American, Canadian, Gay, Bisexual, Straight, Single, Partnered, Divorced, Senior, Adult, Teen, Pre-Schooler, Vegetarian, South Beach Diet, Weight Watchers Diet, "See Food" Diet and many more combinations if we looked a bit deeper. But our commonalities were even greater. Friendship - and great food.
*** *** ***
And at the end of the party, as I was feeling the environmental guilt after taking out a full 30 gallon bag of trash from plates, cups and napkins, and emptying the recycle container - I noticed that there were a few folks attempting to pack up their empty dishes. This would never do. It was time to institute a new tradition. BYOT - Bring your own Tupperware. Or Plasticware. Everyone at our parties are encouraged to "take a plate" as there are far too many left overs. Most folks put this on a paper plate and cover it with foil. Our next invitation will encourage them to bring one or more small containers to take their "leftovers" home with them. I'm also tempted to tell them to all bring their own plate and forks too - but I think that might be pushing it.
I have decided that I need to look into investing in some cheap but durable re-usable plates. We do these big meals at least 4 times a year - so this could be a great investment, and a great way to reduce our annual trash output. It just might be time to sell that stock in Chinet....
Yes, we had a little bit of everything. And not just the food. Our crowd represented White, Black, Hispanic, Bi-racial, Male, Female, American, Canadian, Gay, Bisexual, Straight, Single, Partnered, Divorced, Senior, Adult, Teen, Pre-Schooler, Vegetarian, South Beach Diet, Weight Watchers Diet, "See Food" Diet and many more combinations if we looked a bit deeper. But our commonalities were even greater. Friendship - and great food.
*** *** ***
And at the end of the party, as I was feeling the environmental guilt after taking out a full 30 gallon bag of trash from plates, cups and napkins, and emptying the recycle container - I noticed that there were a few folks attempting to pack up their empty dishes. This would never do. It was time to institute a new tradition. BYOT - Bring your own Tupperware. Or Plasticware. Everyone at our parties are encouraged to "take a plate" as there are far too many left overs. Most folks put this on a paper plate and cover it with foil. Our next invitation will encourage them to bring one or more small containers to take their "leftovers" home with them. I'm also tempted to tell them to all bring their own plate and forks too - but I think that might be pushing it.
I have decided that I need to look into investing in some cheap but durable re-usable plates. We do these big meals at least 4 times a year - so this could be a great investment, and a great way to reduce our annual trash output. It just might be time to sell that stock in Chinet....
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Aren't I supposed to see a physician first?
Years and years ago (don't make me think about how many years ago it was), I asked my Dr. what he would recommend in dealing with my weight.
That was an exceptionally hard question to ask. And I know I'm not alone. I'm sure there are lots of folks who would rather talk about hemorrhoids, STDs or persistent halitosis than say to their Dr "I'm fat."
My Dr's response was not what I needed. He looked kind of awkward. He looked kind of sheepish. He fidgeted and said "um" and "uh" more often than normal. After his stammering, ya know what he said? It's really just about eating less calories than you burn. Yea Dr. I get that. I'm not a stupid person. We all KNOW that. It doesn't suddenly make it easy to do something about it. Then - he suggested that I do something active, like running. Here's where I realized that he was pretty much repeating a speech. I'd seen this doctor for years and he knew that I had arthritis which cropped up often in my knees and hips. You would never suggest running to me if you knew my medical history. I had to remind him. After reminding him of my medical history (Since I wasn't just asking his advice at a cocktail party - I was sitting in his office on an examination table.) he said that the best thing for me would be swimming. I should definitely start swimming. Rather than mention my lack of pool, and that 2 of the gyms I'd belonged to didn't include pools, I decided to push the uncomfortable discussion just a bit further to ask about specific diets to help get me started. He said that from what he'd read Weight Watchers was a great option.
Aren't you supposed to get better advice from your Dr. than from the Internet? That Dr. retired later that year and since then I've had 2 different doctors. My weight has continued to rise but I haven't bothered to mention it to either of them. They don't know me as well as he did, and I got a cereal box suggestion from him.
Right now here's what I know. More Vegetables. Less ice cream. More grilled meat. Less fried meat. More organic. Less processed. More portion control. Less super sizing. And the hardest one - More cooking at home. Less eating out.
I'm not good at this yet. I'm not even decent at it. I am one of 3 adults in my house right now and I have the least control over the kitchen. And the least skills in the kitchen. And I get home last. But I can't keep leaning on this truth as an crutch. It just means I'm going to need to work harder. That is a bit scary. But (deep breath) less scary than the prospects of what my ever expanding waistline will look like in another 5-10 years.
The research begins. Recipes. Diets. Food plans. I'm open for it all. I'll try anything that will get me healthy. Healthy or bust.
That was an exceptionally hard question to ask. And I know I'm not alone. I'm sure there are lots of folks who would rather talk about hemorrhoids, STDs or persistent halitosis than say to their Dr "I'm fat."
My Dr's response was not what I needed. He looked kind of awkward. He looked kind of sheepish. He fidgeted and said "um" and "uh" more often than normal. After his stammering, ya know what he said? It's really just about eating less calories than you burn. Yea Dr. I get that. I'm not a stupid person. We all KNOW that. It doesn't suddenly make it easy to do something about it. Then - he suggested that I do something active, like running. Here's where I realized that he was pretty much repeating a speech. I'd seen this doctor for years and he knew that I had arthritis which cropped up often in my knees and hips. You would never suggest running to me if you knew my medical history. I had to remind him. After reminding him of my medical history (Since I wasn't just asking his advice at a cocktail party - I was sitting in his office on an examination table.) he said that the best thing for me would be swimming. I should definitely start swimming. Rather than mention my lack of pool, and that 2 of the gyms I'd belonged to didn't include pools, I decided to push the uncomfortable discussion just a bit further to ask about specific diets to help get me started. He said that from what he'd read Weight Watchers was a great option.
Aren't you supposed to get better advice from your Dr. than from the Internet? That Dr. retired later that year and since then I've had 2 different doctors. My weight has continued to rise but I haven't bothered to mention it to either of them. They don't know me as well as he did, and I got a cereal box suggestion from him.
Right now here's what I know. More Vegetables. Less ice cream. More grilled meat. Less fried meat. More organic. Less processed. More portion control. Less super sizing. And the hardest one - More cooking at home. Less eating out.
I'm not good at this yet. I'm not even decent at it. I am one of 3 adults in my house right now and I have the least control over the kitchen. And the least skills in the kitchen. And I get home last. But I can't keep leaning on this truth as an crutch. It just means I'm going to need to work harder. That is a bit scary. But (deep breath) less scary than the prospects of what my ever expanding waistline will look like in another 5-10 years.
The research begins. Recipes. Diets. Food plans. I'm open for it all. I'll try anything that will get me healthy. Healthy or bust.
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