2008: A Retrospective

Another year gone. A few less pounds. A few more gray hairs.

The years go faster and faster and faster. Mama didn't lie about that!

Decided to look back at the year. Let's see what I've done. The good, the bad, the ugly. Then, what I'm hoping to see out of this year.

Weight: 2008
January 1st, 2008 I was 208 lbs. I can't tell you what my weight was on the last day of the year because my scale is acting funny. Cheap scales break. Expensive scales "act funny". I'm hoping to sort it out by this weekend, but last time I checked, which was just a few days before, I was at 193.6. While I'm happy that all this time of not tracking food, not exercising etc has not led to a massive weight gain, looking back to see that in all this time I lost a total of less than 15 lbs this year is pretty scary. And just to make it worse, in April I was down to 190. Of course, August was back to 198. Dang those same 10 lbs I keep losing and gaining for the last 9 months!

Weight: Outlook 2009
I'm have a semi stable job now that, while I need to travel now and then, should allow me to work on better eating habits. The Girlfriend swears she's going to start being healthier this year. Where are we now? House full of sweets from the holiday party. I'm working through them as fast as I can. :) Not exactly moving toward my goal, but I can't throw away yummy food. Just can't do it. Not yet. Do I have a goal here? It's tough. My next bit point is to be a 14/16. That's "normal girl" sized. I dreamed of being a 16 by Christmas, but didn't put in the effort. I promise to put in effort this year. Let's say the dream is to be a 14/16 by my birthday. [Special note here, I'm been saying for awhile now that I want to give my hair to locks of love once my face gets small enough to try short hair. I've been saying I want to give it away next summer for awhile now. I think at 14/16 I can get away w/ short hair. :) ]

Active Lifestyle: 2008
My gym membership should count as a charitable contribution because I never ever go. I've almost canceled it I can't say how many times but I keep hoping that something will change and I'll be able to go again. No such luck. We haven't walked around the neighborhood or the awesome park, and we haven't ridden our bikes in so long I think they both need new tires. I have gotten her to take me dancing a bit more often - but does 6 times a year really count?

Active Lifestyle: Outlook 2009
We got a Wii for Christmas. It's been used quite a few times. Standing up to do anything is better than just sitting there like a lump watching TV. And I'm planning to buy the Wii Fit by Spring (Maybe I can make that a "reward" for doing good w/ healthy eating?) so we can start doing at home simple work. Even if it only gets used on the weekends, it would be a great improvement over what we do now. I still think I might cancel the gym membership. I'm giving myself until February to decide for sure. I want to find at least one other way to bring fitness into our lives without the gym. It would be great if we brought back the bikes (and really used them)or found something else that makes us happy so we do it regularly without feeling like it's a forced work out.

Eco Living: 2008
I put it in the backseat to focus on weight. That wasn't an awful decision, but it's been tough. I'm still the recycle nazi to my friends, but as I've admitted, in times of stress or pure exhaustion even I have slipped. I've traveled a ton with my millions of jobs this year and I've done nothing to off-set it. (I'm also not getting enough miles to on a consistent airline to add up to anything good!!) We still use paper and plastic at our holiday gatherings when I'd really wanted to go with "real plates" to ensure that it was more eco friendly. I still absolutely suck at unplugging things I know I should - like cell phone chargers - when not in use. I didn't have enough time to do much in the way of eco shopping (Farmers markets, local produce, local/sustainable housewares and presents) where I stayed in the super-grocery-marts and Targets of the world because I had no time to drive extra or only buy veggies on a Saturday morning between 8 and 10am. I still have the same car that still gets not enough MPG and I still drive it an hour each day, each way.

Eco Living: Outlook 2009
I worked from home more than usual for the holiday. Woman coming back from maternity leave has already said that she WILL work from home regularly. If I could get them to do work from home 2x a month - that would be AWESOME! Also, I live right down the street from someone who works at the same office. (Insane, but true) and we've both been so busy there was no such thing as a "normal" schedule to figure out carpooling. Once I am sharing the workload, I think I can actually carpool. I know there will be some times we can't do it, but even bringing it down 2x a week would make an awesome dent in my gas bills. If I can do it more than that???? Heaven! and that car that I'll be driving was just paid off so I'll be able to make a financially healthy choice to use that extra cash for the insane credit card debt caused by the same car earlier this year! I want to find more locally owned spots that sell more locally made things. I heard about a butcher that sells the pork it raises organically that's only like 15 min from my house - but of course they have limited hours which means I've not made it there. That needs to change this year - I need to make it a goal.

Healthy mind/spirit: 2008
Really enjoyed going to church at the beginning of the year, but as jobs changed and stress raised, I went less often by the end of the year. Almost the only quiet reflective time I found for myself was when traveling. Staring out at the clouds on one quiet trip, I even wrote a poem. Haven't done that in a few years. On another I pulled out 3 poems and 2 songs (sang to myself in the car, and couldn't remember them by the time I could pull over, but they gave me hours of enjoyment in the car). This was a great reminder to me of how important it is to find those times. The no-tv, no one else needs anything but you kind of quiet times. It was also a big reminder that I have to make those moments happen - they won't always just happen on their own.

Healthy mind/spirit: Outlook 2009
Church makes me happy to go, so I need to get back in the habit. I also need to find time for things that make me happy. Reading a book. Blogging. A good coffeehouse with amazing coffee and cool poetry readings. (OK, wishing a bit too far out on that one I'm sure...) Something that makes that little quiet part of you deep deep inside sit back, close it's eyes and exhale deeply. And how important it is to give that same little part of you something that is all about fun - like karaoke or air hockey or singing loudly with a friend to bad 80's music in the car. Work life balance is important, and if I keep working 18 hours a day I'll never find it. I have to work to keep the job, while keeping some level of balance. This may be the hardest thing I try to do all year - but without that, nothing else here will have the time to happen.

Goodbye 2008. You showed me that even in some crazy crazy times, even if I can't always be moving forward I can make sure I don't take a serious step back. Here's looking forward to 2009!

Day 4, or maybe 7 if you count the hours...

I've always had a not-so-secret nerd crush on Dilbert.

Who has worked in an office and not seen themselves or others in the office in a far too close to the truth form staring up from that comic strip? I used to post them regularly around my desk. Some done with only humor in mind. Some in hopes that the right person would casually see them, realize it was all about them and immediately stop whatever it was they were doing.

I fondly and vividly remember the series he did when Dilbert was given the opportunity to telecommute. As I'm finishing my first week of telecommuting, I realized it's not quite what I expected all those years ago.







While quite different, there are some interesting parallels.

Day 1 - I was too busy working to think about the time I saved by not having to drive into an office.

Day 2 I did decide to skip the shower until that evening. After staying up late to get a few extra things set up, I wasn't excited about needing to be up by 3:30am to be able to shower. Stay up til 3? Sure! Get up at 3? I don't think so.

Day 3 - Throwing pencil at the ceiling? But then I'd have to clean my own ceiling. A trait much better left in the office. But, I did get a bit "working from home wild and crazy". I baked a cake. not from scratch, and the frosting came right out of a can, but I did bake it. During my lunch hour. Well, the baking was during lunch hour. Wait, does it count as a lunch hour when my laptop was on the island and I was sending email while adding the eggs?

Day 4 - I am totally pro-clothes. I was in a meeting today though - but I was so busy working through it I hardly remember what was discussed. Pretty sure beards didn't come up. I did find out that I'll be traveling again the first week in June and I can expect to be even busier in the next few weeks.

I'm working 14 hour days (at least, with breaks here and there) and (so far) I'm loving it. There has to be something seriously wrong with me, I know. But for now, I'm just going to sit back (in my office chair), relax (get back to work on a project for tomorrow), and enjoy it.

Grasping the sweet, sweet carrot

How long have I wanted a job where I could telecommute? So long. We can fondly remember the (lies) dreams once discussed at a prior job, and it was regularly held out as a carrot encouraging me to wait a bit longer, work a bit harder, hold on just a few more weeks. But we all know what happened there, right? A big whopping nothing followed by no job at all either.

But the whole world has changed. I have the carrot. In fact, right now it's feeling so good it's like carrot cake. Sweet - so sweet.

I was offered and I have accepted the job where I'll be 100% telecommuting from home.

[Woo hoo! Ahhhhhh!!! The crowd goes wild!!!]

Yea, I'll be killing some serious carbon emissions with the travel I'll be doing, but it's something, right? I've already thought about looking into carbon offsets but I think it's a bit too soon for that.

I fly back there in 2 weeks to learn their systems and get a good feeling for how they run their systems. I'm already a bit scared that they have me down as spending just a week there. Eek! I'd really like to make it 2 weeks, but we'll see...

So - one goal achieved. And yet, is it? We'll have to see how much flying I actually do to know how it all balances out. But for now - the carrot is mine.

Long live the carrot.

Tick, Tick, Tick...

I once thought the biological clock was absolutely the loudest one around. I have discovered that there is a louder internal clock. The "Did I get a job that will let me telecommute?" internal clock.

I called my house 4 times today to check messages. I actually logged into my email once today to see if they sent anything over. Logged into email at work!!!! Can you imagine???

The day was a blur. All I remember is "Did they call yet?" and "Do you think they've called yet?" followed, once I found out they hadn't called, by "When do I think they'll call?". I was a mess.

But a happy mess. I think I did well in the interviews. The last person I met with said I'd impressed the other folks who met with me. In fact, he said I dazzled them. We'll see. Did I impress them enough for me to telecommute? That's what it's all about. I left there with a feeling that if I was local, the job could have been mine. But as I have no interest in moving to Ohio any time soon, and The Girlfriend has made it clear that she has NO interest in returning to Ohio EVER - I think we'll just have to see if they were willing to take me from here.

Deep breath. One more. Maybe one more. Repeat. After several more sets of the same I start to chill just a bit. In with the good air, out with the stressed air.

Whoooooooooooooooooo......

This morning I got up, went to the airport and got on a plane. I'm in Ohio right now. Flight was good. (Thanks for asking) But this post isn't just about the destination - it's about the journey.

So as you'll remember, I was out of work about a while ago. Got a new job about a month ago and while I can make it work out just fine - it's not my dream job and I'm not their dream employee. We both know it, and we went into the relationship with open eyes. About a week ago I got an email from a friend about a job she thought I might like. Doing something I've done before - something I know how to do pretty darn well. She thinks it might be a good match. But how would I feel about telecommuting?

How would I feel? How would I feel??? I'd be pretty darn out of my mind excited. Healthy food choices. Ability to do a few things around the house during "lunch". Easier access to the gym. And let's talk about the money I'd be saving on gas - which is getting more expensive every day. Yea - I think I'm ok with telecommuting.

So after a phone interview with the company they decide to fly me out for an interview. I've never been flown anywhere for an interview before and feels like such a compliment. They could be flying out 20 people, but I'm still taking it as a compliment.

I'm feeling a bit more confident in my newer slimmer self so I'm less scared about the face to face. I like my new size 18 suits. Interesting observation - I was able to pack everything I needed in just my overnight bag and my regular purse. Including a thick trench coat (that I bought big from the thrift store when I was a size 9 and just realized I can finally button it up again...), 3 pairs of shoes and my suit. I've tried to do that before and it never worked. Never. I have decided it fits better because the clothes are smaller. Might not be true, but it certainly made me feel better.

Then, when picking out my "wear to the air port and get picked up by an employee of the company" outfit, found one that was fun, modern and professional. I looked semi-hot. Well, maybe a bit more than semi-hot as I was getting several of "those" looks today. The guy who normally yells at folks to put their shoes in the basket was complimenting me on my shoes and calling me sweetie - while giving me one of "those" smiles. I almost forgot how much I missed things like that.

Then, when finally on the plane - I fit in the chair without touching the guy next to me. Sure, our elbows touched now and then, but my thigh stayed on its own cushion. My butt didn't push at the arm rests the way it used to do. Wearing a shirt that was pretty fitted around the waist, some "hugs the curves" jeans and high heels - I was actually comfortable on the plane. Really comfortable. Not just kinda comfortable. Completely.

Tonight I had my first contact with folks from the company. Not once in any of those conversations did my mind drift to the fact that I was too fat for the job, or that I would be judged by my weight. These are things that used to haunt me all the time - especially in situations like this where you KNOW the person is looking for faults.

In no way am I thin. Not even close. But what a difference 40 lbs makes.

Tomorrow is the big interview day - from 10:30am until 4:30pm. I'm going to be judged, poked and prodded. Luckily, there's 40 lbs less to judge, 40 lbs less to poke and prod. And if they like what they see - Mama gets to telecommute. Oh yea baby.

Fingers crossed...

Just another day - in a good way

Ok, so I missed a day. I tried. I did. But it was not meant to be.

But, in the spirit of my new lifestyle/diet, I will continue on as one day's error does not a ruined diet/lifestyle make. Or something like that.

I worked at home today (WOO HOO!) which was lovely. No wasted gas. No AC even on most of the day. Used only sunlight to light my way. Just my two computers chugging along. Yea, 2 computers. Not the best ecological decision, but unfortunately a requirement for now. I'd like to think that in the end I came out ahead on the ecological points game.

Staying home is also great for food choices. I was hesitant that I'd give in the the bags of Doritos or the Nutter Butters in the pantry. But no. Didn't grab a snack all day. At work when I'm looking for an escape or have free time, I end up thinking about food. At home I pet the cat, go put away some dishes or get something ready for dinner. There are SO many other options available that food is automatically demoted in the "think about it" list.

Thinking smart and making good choices. That's what it's all about.

Return of the carrot

So today, on a day were I had to drive 30 miles so I could smile and nod at a few folks for about half an hour, only to turn around and drive right back - I'm given another "one day soon you'll work from home" carrot. Good timing.

But seriously, in today's world of video conferencing, web cams and easily shared picture and video via cell phone why are folks still driving across town for a meeting? Sure, sure, sometimes it's worth it. You created something they need to see live. You know you don't have a product that sells itself so you need the smile in the suit to sell it for you. But maybe it's just so you can expense your lunch? Business folks need to think about it. My time, is their time. I bet some folks would appreciate a shorter meeting. Maybe it will never work, but it sure would be nice.

So, today I was told that soon - as soon as next week, I'll be set up to work from home. Do I believe it? No. But - I'm hopeful that by the end of July I might see something happen. Just in time for me to pay more for energy to cool my house all day to stay home. Just when I thought this was a carrot, it turns out to be a fairly even split. Less gas, more electric energy. Casual clothing, but greater need for accountability. Yea, well - I'll take it. Bring it on. The heat won't last forever and I know I can do the job. Bring on the carrot. I'm ready.

Canada is my not-so-secret BFF

One more reason to move to Canada!

Free health care, equal rights, and now this! A Canadian Premier has said that to save energy this summer, businesses should keep it at 79F vs the 73F where it normally rests during the summer. While 79 is certainly comfortable enough - it's not very comfortable when you're wearing a suit so he's suggesting that everyone dress in a cool, comfortable and CASUAL manner! No heels??? No suits with matching purses and shoes and scarves? WOO HOO!

I have a strong opinion on this for several reasons.

1. How awesome is it to put on clothes that actually fit for the weather and not for how cold it's going to be in the office! This would also save energy as most folks end up wearing 2 outfits a day - work and home. Less clothes getting worn, less clothing to be washed! For folks "going out" right after work you either have to bring clothes with you to get wrinkled under your desk or you have to go home to change. Which does what - oh yea - wastes gas.

2. I happen to work in an office that tries to keep it at 73F. Every once in awhile I can get it down to 76F, but that is on a lucky day. Most of the time - I'm wearing a jacket. A jacket. In Phoenix. In June. Why should businesses be wasting that kind of money on AC? How about putting that money towards the rising costs of health care? Or maybe into a profit sharing program?

3. Let's admit it. It's summer vacation. Half the folks in the office are talking about what they are going to do on vacation or what they did on vacation. Or they're talking about what they wish they were doing on vacation. The other folks don't have anywhere to go, don't have any money or don't have any time off left after spring break. We know it's summer at the office - why not look like it? Do my shorts offend your eyes? I didn't think so. Let's go with it!

In the mean time I'll be driving in the heat, in heels and a suit, to a super cold office - unable to even telecommute. Come on American politicians! Get inspired! Steal some great ideas from your own back yard! We can do it!!!

Hunting for the gas saving carrot

One of the reasons I accepted my current position was the ability to work from home. When first having conversations with them it was going to be 100% at home, but with a few occasional client trips. Works for me. Then about 2 weeks before my start date it became, 2 days a week in the office and the rest of the time from home. I think it was 2 days before I began that it became 100% in the office for the first month or two of training - then it will go to the 2 days in 3 days out model. Fine. Makes sense to me.

I'm on month 7 and I'm still driving 5 days a week. The carrot of working from home is firmly in place, but just when I think that it's almost in reach, they get a longer stick.

Making this change would be great for my time management, great for the company (in ways I can't describe here for risk of leaking my super-secret identity), an extra income benefit (Which would officially be my first benefit as the company does not provide any others. Of ANY kind.), and oh so importantly - would be a major check mark for me on my living healthy mental checklist.

So for this reason, the whole benefits thing, and a host of other issues, I believe I'm going to start up my job hunt again. But I have an interesting quandary. How soon can I ask about telecommuting? I don't want to work at home 100% of the time. 1-2 days a week at home would be absolutely ideal. In for meetings, for team building, to develop relationships - all great things. I've seen a few employers totally turned off by asking about working from home though I've never understood it. Every job where I've worked from home I was actually more productive than when in the office - at least 95% of the time. The other 5% is for when I'd work from home while sick. So yea, less productive than normal - but more productivity than if I'd just taken the day off for sure! I've seen some articles that show it's gaining in favor, but not quite enough to make me confident bringing it up in a 1st interview.

I'll keep looking for input here - and I'll keep hoping the perfect job will come along. With tons of benefits, a corporate recycling program, parking spots for carpoolers and a bold telecommuting policy. Fingers crossed.